Entertainment The Best Moe Szyslak Quotes of All Time  

Movie and TV Quotes
38 votes 6 voters 26 items

Springfield's resident bartender is a fan favorite in The Simpsons, and the best Moe Syzslak quotes show you why that is. From lines like "Even the Koreans wouldn't touch this dog" to "Man, soccer's even boring for the ball," let's take a look at the funniest Moe Syzslak quotes that always stayed with you over the years.

Many of the best Moe Syzslak quotes come from his insecurities and low self-esteem. In Season Eleven's "Pygmoelian," Moe is called "ugly ugly" for the first time in his life, prompting him to deliver this gem: "I've been called ugly, pug ugly, fugly, pug fugly, but never ugly ugly." Another great line from Moe Syzslak is, "Think of it as a wake-up call from a man with nothin' but a blow-up doll. And even she left me. Shouldn't have used helium."

What is Moe's funniest quote in The Simpsons? You decide that by voting up your favorite Moe Syzslak quotes on the list below!

Kid Gorgeous is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Moe Szyslak Quotes of All Time
Photo: Fox
1 3 VOTES

Kid Gorgeous

Homer: You used to be a boxer just like me? 
Moe: Yup. They called me Kid Gorgeous. Later on, it was Kid Presentable. Then Kid Gruesome. And finally, Kid Moe.

3 0
Love this quote?
The Scooter Store is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Moe Szyslak Quotes of All Time
Photo: Fox
2 3 VOTES

The Scooter Store

Moe: Do you mind riding a cute little scooter with your arms around my waist?
Princess Kemi: I don't!
Moe: To the scooter store!

3 0
Love this quote?
This Dog is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Moe Szyslak Quotes of All Time
Photo: Fox
3 4 VOTES

This Dog

Moe: Even the Koreans wouldn't touch this dog.

3 1
Love this quote?
Steal Any Beer is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Moe Szyslak Quotes of All Time
Photo: Fox
4 4 VOTES

Steal Any Beer

Moe: Barney, don't steal any beer while I'm gone.
Barney: What kind of pathetic drunk do you take me for? Somebody spilled beer in this ashtray!

3 1
Love this quote?