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The Best Mr. Burns Quotes of All Time

Updated June 14, 2019 1.7k votes 320 voters 19.2k views25 items

We all know Mr. Burns is the wealthiest man in Springfield, but he's also rich in amazing quotes that have stayed with us for all these years. Let's take a look at the best Mr. Burns quotes of all time, from his classic "Excellent" to funnier lines like "Homer, your bravery and quick thinking have turned a potential Chernobyl into a mere Three-Mile Island. Bravo!" These quotes from Monty Burns are ranked by your votes, so don't forget to give these lines your upvotes if they are favorites of yours.

Some of the funniest Mr. Burns quotes have to do with money and his status as a billionaire, as he's never ashamed to let others know he is better than him: "The man has no idea how to behave like a billionaire. Where's the dignity? Where's the contempt for the common man?" Another great moment in a Mr. Burns episode was when he bossed around baseball legend Don Mattingly (and several other MLB players): "Mattingly! I thought I told you to trim those sideburns! Go home! You're off the team for good!"

Vote up the funniest quotes from Mr. Burns that always make you laugh, even if he is an evil billionaire who tried to block out the sun.


  • Photo: Fox

    Three Demons

    Mr. Burns: Family, religion, friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in busniess.

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  • Photo: Fox

    Slack-Jawed Troglodytes

    Mr. Burns: Ironic, isn't it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you!

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  • Photo: Fox

    Way Richer

    Homer: You know, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know. Way richer than Lenny. 
    Mr. Burns: Oh, yes. But I'd trade it all for a little more.

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  • Photo: Fox

    I'm Hungry Now

    Mr. Burns: Ah! A candy shop. Yes. I'll take two pounds of Bristol's toffee. Oh, and don't wrap it too tightly. I'm hungry now. [the vending machine doesn't do anything] You've made a powerful enemy today, my friend.

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