137 voters

The Best Mr. Garrison Quotes From 'South Park'

March 5, 2020 1.4k votes 137 voters 3.0k views25 items

It's time to decide which of these is the best Mr. Garrison quote of all time. Until he became the president of the United States, Mr. Garrison was the boys' fourth-grade teacher. Along with Mr. Hat, Garrison would impart important teachings about television shows and relationships. There have been plenty of funny Mr. Garrison quotes over the years, and now, you get to decide which one has earned an A+. 

The best Mr. Garrison quotes of all time have been collected here. Even if you believe with every fiber in your being a certain quote could never make it to the top, you should never underestimate the power of voting. Vote up the Mr. Garrison quotes you think are hilarious.

  • Mexicans
    Photo: ViacomCBS


    Mr. Garrison: How 'bout we get rid of all the Mexicans.

    Mayor McDaniels: Mr. Garrison, every Christmas you suggest we get rid of all the Mexicans, and every Christmas we tell you, "No!"

    Mr. Garrison: Rats!

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  • My Mother Was From Alabama
    Photo: ViacomCBS

    My Mother Was From Alabama

    Mr. Garrison: And where are you from, Damien?

    Damien: The seventh layer of hell!

    Mr. Garrison: Oh, that's exciting, my mother was from Alabama.

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  • Except for Me
    Photo: ViacomCBS

    Except for Me

    Mr. Mackey: Now Eric, all these people came here and paid to send you to camp because they care about you.

    Mr. Garrison: Yeah except for me, I just wanted to see the look on your face when we told you.

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  • People Like You
    Photo: ViacomCBS

    People Like You

    Mr. Garrison: You don't give a crap about them because they're not on your side. People like you preach tolerance and open-mindedness all the time, but when it comes to middle America, you think we're all evil and stupid country yokels that need your political enlightenment. But just because you're on TV doesn't mean you know crap about the government. So get your a** back on first class and respect this class's right to make up their own minds! Sorry, I got a little off the subject there, kids.

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