The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

The subreddit /r/Showerthoughts is full of brilliant, concise insights thought up in that great, steamy thinktank: the shower. We (most of us) bathe in quiet solitude, with neither friends nor social media to entertain us lest we get our devices wet and ruin them. Amidst all that lathering and rinsing, the mind wanders, and for the duration of each shower, anything is possible.

 What do you think about during your most vulnerable moments? Space travel? The strange ways we use language? How cats have whisker-eyebrows and nobody really talks about it? This list collects the best of the Shower Thoughts subreddit – with credit to their original thinkers – for you to enjoy, ponder, and rank. Vote up the ones that make you be like, "Yeah. Yep." 
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  • There is one day every year, where we unknowingly pass the anniversary of the day the dinosaurs were wiped out by an asteroid.
    31
    1,312 votes

    There is one day every year, where we unknowingly pass the anniversary of the day the dinosaurs were wiped out by an asteroid.

    /u/dewinstainleigh
  • In order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to be asleep.
    32
    1,852 votes

    In order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to be asleep.

    /u/conesarecool
  • The witches from "Sabrina" naming their cat Salem is like a Jewish family naming a cat Auschwitz
    33
    2,001 votes

    The witches from "Sabrina" naming their cat Salem is like a Jewish family naming a cat Auschwitz

    /u/OldMikeyboy
  • When you "bite down" on something, you're actually "biting up" because you can't move your top jaw.
    34
    1,456 votes

    When you "bite down" on something, you're actually "biting up" because you can't move your top jaw.

    /u/okspeck
  • If Bruce Willis dies from Viagra overdose, the headline will read "Bruce Willis Dies Hard."
    35
    3,440 votes

    If Bruce Willis dies from Viagra overdose, the headline will read "Bruce Willis Dies Hard."

    /u/dr721
  • Why do people say "tuna fish" when they don't say "beef mammal" or "chicken bird"?
    36
    2,251 votes

    Why do people say "tuna fish" when they don't say "beef mammal" or "chicken bird"?

    /u/KaptainH
  • If Katniss and Peeta from Hunger Games were hollywood celebrities, their supercouple nickname would either be Katpee or Peeniss.
    37
    1,762 votes

    If Katniss and Peeta from Hunger Games were hollywood celebrities, their supercouple nickname would either be Katpee or Peeniss.

    /u/beinagrind_i_skapnum
  • If people on a planet 65 million light years away look at earth, they see dinosaurs.
    38
    1,648 votes

    If people on a planet 65 million light years away look at earth, they see dinosaurs.

    /u/Rowhardorrowhome
  • If you did something like a boss, you'd probably just pay someone else to do it.
    39
    1,379 votes

    If you did something like a boss, you'd probably just pay someone else to do it.

    /u/mcgeeb
  • "Strap-on" spelled backwards is "no parts."
    40
    2,597 votes

    "Strap-on" spelled backwards is "no parts."

    /u/Illuminaughty66
  • Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.
    41
    1,680 votes

    Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.

    /u/GuitarPerson159
  • The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was a grammar Nazi.
    42
    1,795 votes

    The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was a grammar Nazi.

    /u/PhantomDukie
  • Spacesuits are literally made to protect astronauts from nothing
    43
    1,400 votes

    Spacesuits are literally made to protect astronauts from nothing

    /u/cyberk25
  • You're too big to ride the dog by the time you're smart enough to think to ride the dog.
    44
    1,197 votes

    You're too big to ride the dog by the time you're smart enough to think to ride the dog.

    /u/puppieseverywhere
  • Once you have a phd, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment.
    45
    1,338 votes

    Once you have a phd, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment.

    /u/Sland
  • Mothers only get a day but sharks get a whole week.
    46
    1,631 votes

    Mothers only get a day but sharks get a whole week.

    /u/jmoney73
  • When jogging, we put on special clothes so people don't think we are running from or to something.
    47
    1,459 votes

    When jogging, we put on special clothes so people don't think we are running from or to something.

    /u/SoilworkFanatic
  • If there's a "heavens no" and a "hell yea," why isn't there a "purgatory perhaps"?
    48
    1,756 votes

    If there's a "heavens no" and a "hell yea," why isn't there a "purgatory perhaps"?

    /u/AlyxVeldin
  • All our pets might have stockholm syndrome.
    49
    1,385 votes

    All our pets might have stockholm syndrome.

    /u/TeeDeeEff
  • The only reason celebrities always say people should follow their dreams is because they're part of the small percentage who were actually successful.
    50
    1,158 votes

    The only reason celebrities always say people should follow their dreams is because they're part of the small percentage who were actually successful.

    /u/RottenAnemone
  • In the last 20 years, I won over $7,300 by not buying a lottery ticket every day.
    51
    1,375 votes

    In the last 20 years, I won over $7,300 by not buying a lottery ticket every day.

    /u/Nukemarine
  • The sinking of the titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen.
    52
    1,365 votes

    The sinking of the titanic must have been a miracle to the lobsters in the kitchen.

    /u/ElBretto
  • Google earth is good for finding out which of your neighbors has a pool.
    53
    1,699 votes

    Google earth is good for finding out which of your neighbors has a pool.

    /u/wtb2612
  • The two worst sentences you can get are life and death.
    54
    1,129 votes

    The two worst sentences you can get are life and death.

    /u/sarahkuch
  • If Homer Simpson were a democratic congressman from Springfield, Ohio, he'd be Homer Simpson (D-OH).
    55
    1,366 votes

    If Homer Simpson were a democratic congressman from Springfield, Ohio, he'd be Homer Simpson (D-OH).

    /u/Nulono
  • The war on drugs probably has more POWs than any actual war.
    56
    1,122 votes

    The war on drugs probably has more POWs than any actual war.

    /u/AceOfDrafts
  • Mars... Is populated entirely by robots!
    57
    1,183 votes

    Mars... Is populated entirely by robots!

    /u/aaqucnaona
  • Horses must be the most farted upon creatures in the whole world.
    58
    1,120 votes

    Horses must be the most farted upon creatures in the whole world.

    /u/ZebulonHart
  • Netflix should have a rating system that includes, "i hate this, but I want to keep watching it."
    59
    1,067 votes

    Netflix should have a rating system that includes, "i hate this, but I want to keep watching it."

    /u/quiche_richards
  • If two people on opposite sides of the world each drop a piece of bread, the earth briefly becomes a sandwich.
    60
    1,208 votes

    If two people on opposite sides of the world each drop a piece of bread, the earth briefly becomes a sandwich.

    /u/nklotz