Culture
16.7k voters

The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought

Updated July 24, 2020 175.1k votes 16.7k voters 2.6m views99 items

The subreddit /r/Showerthoughts is full of brilliant, concise insights thought up in that great, steamy thinktank: the shower. We (most of us) bathe in quiet solitude, with neither friends nor social media to entertain us lest we get our devices wet and ruin them. Amidst all that lathering and rinsing, the mind wanders, and for the duration of each shower, anything is possible.

 What do you think about during your most vulnerable moments? Space travel? The strange ways we use language? How cats have whisker-eyebrows and nobody really talks about it? This list collects the best of the Shower Thoughts subreddit – with credit to their original thinkers – for you to enjoy, ponder, and rank. Vote up the ones that make you be like, "Yeah. Yep." 
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  • 26
    1,602
    248

    "Squawks" said backwards still sounds the same even though it's not a palindrome

  • 27
    2,044
    343

    I will be the last person to die in my lifetime.

    /u/myfajahas400children
  • 28
    1,804
    305

    I wonder if I am closer to my death or my birth right now.

    /u/ohnowhyme
  • 29
    1,500
    253

    If I were a serial killer I would call myself "the suspense" so that the suspense would literally be killing people.

    /u/AhrmiintheUnseen
  • 30
    1,727
    307

    In order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to be asleep.

    /u/conesarecool
  • 31
    1,905
    349

    They should mark the last tissues in a box with red lines like they do with receipt paper.

    /u/sharkis
  • 32
    1,874
    345

    The witches from "Sabrina" naming their cat Salem is like a Jewish family naming a cat Auschwitz

    /u/OldMikeyboy
  • 33
    2,083
    398

    Why do people say "tuna fish" when they don't say "beef mammal" or "chicken bird"?

    /u/KaptainH
  • 34
    1,540
    284

    If people on a planet 65 million light years away look at earth, they see dinosaurs.

    /u/Rowhardorrowhome
  • 35
    1,221
    210

    There is one day every year, where we unknowingly pass the anniversary of the day the dinosaurs were wiped out by an asteroid.

    /u/dewinstainleigh
  • 36
    1,075
    177

    The only reason celebrities always say people should follow their dreams is because they're part of the small percentage who were actually successful.

    /u/RottenAnemone
  • 37
    1,635
    310

    If Katniss and Peeta from Hunger Games were hollywood celebrities, their supercouple nickname would either be Katpee or Peeniss.

    /u/beinagrind_i_skapnum
  • 38
    1,345
    244

    When you "bite down" on something, you're actually "biting up" because you can't move your top jaw.

    /u/okspeck
  • 39
    3,158
    675

    If Bruce Willis dies from Viagra overdose, the headline will read "Bruce Willis Dies Hard."

    /u/dr721
  • 40
    1,272
    230

    If you did something like a boss, you'd probably just pay someone else to do it.

    /u/mcgeeb
  • 41
    1,679
    327

    The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was a grammar Nazi.

    /u/PhantomDukie
  • 42
    1,551
    298

    Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.

    /u/GuitarPerson159
  • 43
    2,337
    498

    "Strap-on" spelled backwards is "no parts."

    /u/Illuminaughty66
  • 44
    1,050
    185

    The two worst sentences you can get are life and death.

    /u/sarahkuch
  • 45
    1,123
    203

    You're too big to ride the dog by the time you're smart enough to think to ride the dog.

    /u/puppieseverywhere
  • 46
    1,309
    259

    Spacesuits are literally made to protect astronauts from nothing

    /u/cyberk25
  • 47
    1,220
    243

    Once you have a phd, every meeting you go to becomes a doctor's appointment.

    /u/Sland
  • 48
    1,328
    272

    When jogging, we put on special clothes so people don't think we are running from or to something.

    /u/SoilworkFanatic
  • 49
    1,584
    342

    If there's a "heavens no" and a "hell yea," why isn't there a "purgatory perhaps"?

    /u/AlyxVeldin
  • 50
    1,470
    315

    Mothers only get a day but sharks get a whole week.

    /u/jmoney73