Culture The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought  

Mark Holmes
169.3k votes 12.7k voters 2.4M views 99 items

The subreddit /r/Showerthoughts is full of brilliant, concise insights thought up in that great, steamy thinktank: the shower. We (most of us) bathe in quiet solitude, with neither friends nor social media to entertain us lest we get our devices wet and ruin them. Amidst all that lathering and rinsing, the mind wanders, and for the duration of each shower, anything is possible.

 What do you think about during your most vulnerable moments? Space travel? The strange ways we use language? How cats have whisker-eyebrows and nobody really talks about it? This list collects the best of the Shower Thoughts subreddit – with credit to their original thinkers – for you to enjoy, ponder, and rank. Vote up the ones that make you be like, "Yeah. Yep." 
list ordered by

1
3,715 700
Saying "um" is the hum... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Saying "um" is the human equivalent to buffering. /u/AnxietyAttack2013

2
2,426 458
When you're a kid, dick jo... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
When you're a kid, dick jokes are considered adult content, but when you're an adult, they're considered immature. /u/kraken_calamari

3
2,668 521
If the oldest person on earth ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If the oldest person on earth is 116 years old, then 117 years ago, there was a completely different set of human beings on earth. /u/LordofSloths

4
3,054 613
I wonder how many times I've w... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
I wonder how many times I've walked past or come into contact with a murderer. /u/KnibbHighFB

5
2,392 459
Fish who are caught and releas... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. /u/brandonberry

6
2,168 407
Everyone actually has 3 voices... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Everyone actually has 3 voices, the one in your head, the one you hear when you talk and the one that everyone else hears instead. /u/stillegal

7
3,097 629
If mary had baby jesus, and je... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If mary had baby jesus, and jesus is the lamb of god.... Then mary really did have a little lamb. /u/Indian_of_legend

8
1,893 347
Let's take a moment to appreci... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Let's take a moment to appreciate that mother nature not only pre-sliced but also pre-wrapped oranges. /u/Steel_Ninja

9
2,755 552
History classes are only going... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
History classes are only going to get longer and harder as time goes on. /u/RealDirtyDan

10
3,082 630
A group of squid should be cal... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
A group of squid should be called a squad. Thediepend

11
2,444 484
Most of my clothes have been t... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Most of my clothes have been to countries that I have not. /u/zerophaze

12
2,883 590
We rescue homeless animals and... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
We rescue homeless animals and shun homeless people. /u/NewMaterialOnly

13
1,963 370
Cars should have two horns: on... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Cars should have two horns: one is a "nice" one, the other is a "mean" one. /u/DDYLK

14
2,768 566
I have no idea what I've forgo... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
I have no idea what I've forgotten. /u/philly_jay

15
1,896 358
Technically, it's impossib... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Technically, it's impossible to skip breakfast. The first time you eat during a day is when you "break your fast." /u/scadrafein

16
2,388 484
Getting birthday money is the ... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Getting birthday money is the real life equivalent of passing 'go' and collecting $200. /u/Angry_Spacepimp

17
3,794 843
If Bruce Willis dies from Viag... is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
If Bruce Willis dies from Viagra overdose, the headline will read "Bruce Willis Dies Hard." /u/dr721

18
1,541 284
Most people can eat the same b... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Most people can eat the same breakfast weeks in a row, without complaint. But the same dinner for weeks? Now, that's just insanity. /u/roessera

19
2,843 608
I bet attractive people think ... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is. /u/shicky536

20
2,308 476
The reason "cheaters never... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
The reason "cheaters never win" is because the cheaters that did win didn't get caught. /u/RocketHopper

21
2,112 429
Aliens invaded the Moon on Jul... is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
Aliens invaded the Moon on July 20th, 1969. /u/pollenatedweasel

22
1,443 269
"Arms" is another word... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
"Arms" is another word for guns, and "guns" is another word for arms. /u/lemonsmcbob

23
1,835 373
"my entire life has led up... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
"my entire life has led up to this moment" is always true. /u/NoIntroductionNeeded

24
1,732 349
We say "hair" when ref... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
We say "hair" when referring to lots of it but we say "hairs" when referring to a few. /u/VoteBumblebee

25
2,812 640
"Strap-on" spelled bac... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Greatest Shower Thoughts Ever Thought
"Strap-on" spelled backwards is "no parts." /u/Illuminaughty66