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The Best 'Office Space' Quotes

The best Office Space quotes make you realize how funny the movie really is, even if you haven't seen it in a while. Let's rank the greatest quotes from Office Space, with the help of your votes. Starring Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston, and David Herman, Office Space was directed by Mike Judge and released in 1999.

What are your favorite lines from Office Space? One of the memorable one-liners was when Peter said, "I did absolutely nothing and it was everything I thought it could be." Another great line from Office Space is, "I'm going to need those TPS reports... ASAP." spoken by Bill Lumbergh.

Vote up your top Office Space quotes, regardless of which character they come from.

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  • 5
    113 VOTES

    Eight, Bob

    Peter Gibbons: You see, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't even care.

    Bob Porter: Don't- don't care?

    Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my *ss off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's another thing, I have eight different bosses right now.

    Bob Slydell: I beg your pardon?

    Peter Gibbons: Eight bosses, Bob.

    Bob Porter: Eight?

    Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

     

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    • 6
      40 VOTES

      That's Messed Up

      Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

      Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

      Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

      Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.

       

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      • 7
        73 VOTES

        Hope All The Firings Go Well

        Bob Slydell: Would you bear with me for just a second here.

        Peter Gibbons: Okay.

        Bob Slydell: What if - and believe me this is hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?

        Peter Gibbons: I don't know, I guess. Listen, I'm gonna go. It's been really nice talking to both you guys.

        Bob Slydell: Absolutely, the pleasure's all on this side of the table, trust me.

        Peter Gibbons: Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really, really well.

        Bob Porter: Excellent.

        Bob Slydell: Great. Wow.

         

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        • 8
          26 VOTES

          The Crippled Children

          Peter Gibbons: Alright so when the sub routine compounds the interest it uses all these extra decimal places that just get rounded off. So we simplified the whole thing, we rounded them all down, drop the remainder into an account we opened.

          Joanna: So you're stealing?

          Peter Gibbons: Ah no, you don't understand. It's very complicated. It's uh it's aggregate, so I'm talking about fractions of a penny here. And over time they add up to a lot.

          Joanna: Oh okay. So you're gonna be making a lot of money, right?

          Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

          Joanna: Right. It's not yours?

          Peter Gibbons: Well it becomes ours.

          Joanna: How is that not stealing?

          Peter Gibbons: I don't think I'm explaining this very well.

          Joanna: Okay.

          Peter Gibbons: Um... the 7-11. You take a penny from the tray, right?

          Joanna: From the crippled children?

          Peter Gibbons: No that's the jar. I'm talking about the tray. You know the pennies that are for everybody?

          Joanna: Oh, for everybody. Okay.

          Peter Gibbons: Well those are whole pennies, right? I'm just talking about fractions of a penny here. But we do it from a much bigger tray and we do it a couple a million times.

           

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