Hilarious G-Rated Jokes That'll Get You a Laugh Every Time

Evan Lambert
Updated September 16, 2019 50.1K votes 9.7K voters 405.3K views
Voting Rules
Everyone - vote for your favorite G-rated joke!
Dad jokes have a special place in society. Clean jokes are usually only OK to break out when there's a significant lull in the conversation or if you're in a giant party full of children and relatives that you despise. Either way, really funny one liner jokes can be stupidly hilarious. Here are some of the best G-rated jokes ever, for you to vote on and add to your arsenal. 
Photo: Nemodus photos / flickr / CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0
  • 1
    2,885 VOTES

    How does Jesus make his coffee?

    Hebrews it. 
    2,885 votes
  • 2
    2,423 VOTES

    I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

    I don't know what he laced them with but I can't stop tripping.
    2,423 votes
  • 3
    1,471 VOTES

    Why is there no gambling in Africa?

    There are too many cheetahs!
    1,471 votes
  • 4
    1,879 VOTES

    What did the right eye say to the left eye?

    "Between you and me, something smells."
    1,879 votes
  • 5
    2,136 VOTES

    A Mexican magician says that he'll disappear on the count of three.

    "Uno... dos..." POOF!

    He disappears without a tres.

    2,136 votes
  • 6
    1,569 VOTES

    My boss just texted me: "Send me one of your funny jokes!"

    I texted him back: "I'm busy working. I'll send one later."

    "That's hilarious," he said. "Send another one!"
    1,569 votes