The Best Places to Take a Dump

When you gotta go, you gotta go. This is a list of the very best places to drop a deuce and feel good about it. Most people tend to be a little particular about their poo poo time, though it's rare to have 100% alone time while you're doing your business. 

These are the best places to pinch a loaf. Feel free to add any places that aren't on here already. Bombs away!

  • Home
    Photo: Metaweb / CC-BY
    177 VOTES


    Is there anything better than taking a dump in the comfort of your own home? No, there isn't.
    177 votes
  • A Luxury Hotel
    Photo: flickr / CC0
    148 VOTES

    A Luxury Hotel

    Most people aren't using a hotel's lobby bathrooms, which is why it's the perfect place to pop a squat. Plus, they're often luxurious and will have stalls with doors that go all the way to the floor, concealing you just a little bit more in your personal, pooping paradise.
    148 votes
  • Your Parents' House
    Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
    126 VOTES

    Your Parents' House

    Your parents's house is like your home away from home. They potty trained you, you pooped in their house until you moved out, it's comfortable territory. 
    126 votes
  • 4
    97 VOTES


    From nocturne, via the comments:

    "It doesn't get much better than Japan. It just really doesn't. If there were a place where they had TV's in the stalls for you to watch, then that would be where I would live."

    heitkempy also adds:

    "Heated toilet seats in public restrooms. There are bidet seats on the toilets that give you a warm water wash and a blow dry. Also there are devices that make noise to cover up "your noise". They also combo the toilet and sink so that the water goes on in the sink when you flush so nobody gets any handles dirty."
    97 votes
  • The Floor Above or Below You at Work
    Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
    109 VOTES

    The Floor Above or Below You at Work

    There's nothing more embarrassing than being mid-poop in the bathroom at work when your coworker walks in and smells your mess, or worse, comment on it (yep, that's happened). If you go to a floor above or below you, chances are you won't know as many people there (and possibly no one), and you can at least drop a deuce with some anonymity.
    109 votes
  • Grandma's House
    Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY
    113 VOTES

    Grandma's House

    I don't know about you, but my grandma's bathroom is immaculate. Especially her guest "Powder Room." Not only does the woman have all the time in the world to keep it clean and smelling fresh, but she doesn't get visitors too often.
    113 votes