These are the best psychological tricks to use when you want to mess with people, courtesy of AskReddit. Use them wisely my friends.
Teamwork Makes The Dream Work
From Redditor /u/Bob_Loblaw007
I took my kids and 2 of their friends to the skateboard park when they were about 8 and 10 years old. Some kid, who was about 12, was bullying them constantly. He was with 2 others. As an adult, I couldn't do a whole lot to the bully and I didn't want to see my group have to leave on account of this kid being a jerk. So I told my oldest to just stare at the bully the next time he was approached by him, then say "Your one eye is higher than the other one" and then skateboard away. Then, one by one, the other 3 kids in my group all skated past him, stared, then turned to my kid and said "Ya, you're right". The bully went over to his 2 buddies and he must have asked them if it was true that his eyes were uneven. They all stared at him for a minute. He started crying and left the park. I kinda felt a little bad for him but not as bad as I felt when he was being an a**hole to my kids and their friends.1,684131Mischievous?
Let Them Rant
From Redditor /u/Corvus_115
Working in customer service a trick I use is when the customer first starts yelling down the phone, I let them rant without saying a word. When they finish, I leave it a few seconds before saying 'Hello? Has the line cut off?' Completely throws them off because they think their rant wasn't heard and that it was for nothing.1,600121Mischievous?
They Weren't Lying
From Redditor /u/MjolnirPants
I one watched a guy who was getting chewed out by his boss say "D*mn, they weren't lying about you, man..." and the look on his boss's face made it clear who'd won that verbal fight.1,30785Mischievous?
Silence Is Golden
From Redditor /u/kitskill
I use this trick all the time when someone is yelling at me over the phone.
Stay completely silent.
Don't ignore them and speak when spoken to but when they are talking, nothing. No "uh-huh"s, no "mmm"s, no "I see". Nothing. Deprive them of all subconscious feedback.
You really have to work at it because humans naturally try to feed off one another verbally in conversation. The other person will quickly sense that something is wrong in the conversation and it usually throws them off track enough that they stop ranting or yelling and tell you what they actually want.
Best way to shut someone up without being rude. Semiotics professor taught it to me.
It works just as well in person but, face-to-face, you have to also avoid nodding, moving your hands and you have to look them directly in the eyes.1,26784Mischievous?