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The Best Things Red Forman Ever Said

Updated September 5, 2019 13.1k votes 1.4k voters 60.4k views27 items

These are the best Red Forman quotes from The ‘70s Show. Played by Kurtwood Smith over all eight seasons, Red is Eric’s father and has to deal with many of the group’s hijinks. Most of Red’s funny one-liners come from his interactions with his son Eric Forman. He often complains about communism and what a disappointment Eric can be, but which of these are the best Red Forman quotes?

You get to help decide with your votes. After you vote up your favorite quotes from Red Forman be sure to check out where she ranks among the best characters on That ‘70s Show.

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  • 1

    Now Fix It

    Red: Donna's such a sweet kid. How could you do this to her?

    Eric: I don't know. It's like bad things always happen to me, like I have bad luck or something.

    Red: Son, you don't have bad luck. The reason that bad things happen to you is because you're a dumb*ss. Now fix it.

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  • 2

    Happiest Day

    Eric: Ground me.

    Red: What?

    Eric: I am not strong enough. If I'm gonna shake this Donna thing, I am gonna need some serious discipline. Please ground me.

    Red: You got it, pal. You're grounded!

    Eric: One more thing. Donna's in the kitchen; I need you to get rid of her for me.

    Red: Do I have to be nice about it?

    Eric: No.

    Red: This is the happiest day of my life!

     

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  • 3

    Feed The Boy

    Red: Steven? When are you moving out?

    Hyde: Soon.

    Red: How's your girlfriend?

    Hyde: Shallow as hell.

    Red: Job?

    Hyde: Dead end.

    Red: Future?

    Hyde: Bleak.

    Red: Kitty, feed the boy.

     

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  • 4

    Didn't Think You Were Listening

    Red: Eric, bend your knees and lift with your legs, or else I'm gonna-

    Eric: Kick my *ss, put your foot in my *ss, make my *ss a hat, yeah yeah yeah...

    Red: Jeez. And I didn't think you were listening.

     

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