The Funniest Quotes From 'Scrooged'

Which of these Scrooged quotes is the best? That's what we are here to decide with the help of your votes. There have been numerous adaptations of A Christmas Carol over the years. There's just something about watching an old miser get visited by three spirits and learn the meaning of Christmas that has resonated with generations. For people who grew up in the 1980s, one of the most pivotal adaptations comes in the form of the hit comedy Scrooged, starring Bill Murray. This time, Murray plays a TV executive who needs to learn the meaning of Christmas before it's too late. Check out the best Scrooged quotes to remember why you need to pop this classic into the VCR (or find it on a streaming service) as soon as possible. 

Scrooged offers plenty of that classic Bill Murray hilarity people have come to adore. There are plenty of hilarious and funny lines throughout the film, such as when Murray's character Frank Cross is trying to get everything set up and says, "We're gonna need champagne for 250 people, and send the stuff that you send to me. Don't send the stuff that I send to other people." There's also the great line, "No, you are a hallucination brought on by alcohol. Russian vodka poisoned by Chernobyl!"

Which lines puts the biggest smile on your face? The best Scrooged movie quotes are right here for your enjoyment. 

  • 1
    21 VOTES


    Frank Cross: I want to see her nipples.

    Censor Lady: But this is a Christmas show.

    Frank Cross: Well, I'm sure Charles Dickens would have wanted to see her nipples.

    Carpenter: You can barely see them nipples.

    Frank Cross: See? And these guys are really looking.

    21 votes
  • 2
    28 VOTES

    It's Christmas Eve

    Frank Cross: It's Christmas Eve! It's... it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we... we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be. It's a... miracle. It's really a sort of a miracle. Because it happens every Christmas Eve. And if you waste that miracle, you're gonna burn for it, I know what I am talking about. You have to do something. You have to take a chance. You do have to get involved. There are people that are having... having trouble making their miracle happen. There are people that don't have enough to eat or people that are cold. You can go out and say hello to these people. You can take an old blanket out of the closet and say "Here!," you can make them a sandwich and say "Oh, by the way, here!," I... I get it now! And if you... if you give, then it can happen, then the miracle can happen to you! It's not just the poor and the hungry, it's everybody's who's gotta have this miracle! And it can happen tonight for all of you! If you believe in this spirit thing, the miracle will happen and then you'll want it to happen again tomorrow. You won't be one of these b*stards who says "Christmas is once a year and it's a fraud," it's NOT! It can happen every day, you've just got to want that feeling. And if you like it and you want it, you'll get greedy for it! You'll want it every day of your life and it can happen to you! I believe in it now! I believe it's going to happen to me now! I'm ready for it! And it's great. It's a good feeling, it's really better than I've felt in a long time. I, I, I'm ready. Have a Merry Christmas, everybody.

    28 votes
  • 3
    11 VOTES

    Russian Vodka

    Frank Cross: No, you are a hallucination brought on by alcohol. Russian vodka poisoned by Chernobyl!

    11 votes
  • 4
    21 VOTES

    Trump Tower

    Frank Cross: Well, this is nice. Where are we, Trump Tower?

    21 votes
  • 5
    15 VOTES

    Twelve Sharp Knives

    Frank Cross: I never liked a girl well enough to give her twelve sharp knives.

    15 votes
  • 6
    8 VOTES


    Claire Phillips: That's the one good thing about regret, it's never too late. You can always change tomorrow if you want to.

    8 votes