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The Best Scruffy Quotes From 'Futurama'

February 24, 2020 2.4k votes 369 voters 16.1k views24 items

The best Scruffy character quotes from Futurama prove that he is the unsung hero of the Planet Express crew and doesn't always get the love and appreciation he deserves. Scruffy... the janitor. Let's clean up this list a bit by voting up the best Scruffy lines of all time. 

Scruffy was capable of some truly amazing one-liners, such as the subtle but brilliant, "My job. Toilets 'n boilers, boilers 'n toilets. Plus that one boilin' toilet. Fire me if'n you dare." However, he was also occasionally a voice of reason within the dysfuntional delivery company. He had a moment of utter clarity with, "The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Mmhm." 

Funny Scruffy quotes are not hard to find. But which one is the best? Vote up your favorites if'n you dare.

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  • 1

    My Job

    Scruffy: My job. Toilets 'n boilers, boilers 'n toilets. Plus that one boilin' toilet. Fire me if'n you dare.

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  • 2

    The Candle

    Scruffy: The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. Mmhm.

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  • 3

    40,000 Shares

    Scruffy: Scruffy votes his 40,000 shares for the mysterious stranger.

    Leela: Wait a minute, how come you have four times as much share as the rest of us?

    Scruffy: Scruffy believes in this company. 

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  • 4

    Before I Beg You to Stay

    Scruffy: Ms. Wong?

    Wash Bucket: No, Scruffy, I am wash bucket. I love you. Wash bucket has always loved you.

    Scruffy: It's wrong, wash bucket. Oh, it would be sweet for a while, but in the back of our minds we'd know that I'm a man and you're janitorial equipment.

    Wash Bucket: In another city, we could be anyone we want.

    Scruffy: Go. Go now. Before I beg you to stay.

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