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The Best Stan Smith Quotes

American Dad is fully of funny one-liners and memorable lines but among the funniest are the best Stan Smith quotes. Stan Smith is a family man who hilariously balances his responsibilities as a CIA agent, husband, and father. But which of these Stan Smith quotes from American Dad is the best? You get to help decide with your votes.

Vote up the Stan Smith character lines that made you laugh out loud and vote down any that you don't want to hear again.

  • 5
    59 VOTES

    Stan Frank

    Tom: Hey, Stanny Boy! Frantastic! Get up here, the view is amazing!

    Stan Smith: Did you hear that? They gave us nicknames! The only nickname I ever got was in eighth grade. They called me Stan Frank because I was always hiding and writing in my diary.


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  • 6
    74 VOTES

    The Little Girl

    Stan Smith: Well, if you're ever taken hostage by, say, a neighbor, and you end up on Al Jazeera, just blink your coordinates in Morse code, like this. and I'll have a bomb dropped on your location.

    Steve Smith: But then I'd be dead.

    Stan Smith: Oh, c'mon, sport, there are plenty of kids in heaven to play with. Your cousin Billy. That little girl from Poltergeist....Well she must be at least sixteen by now. You could totally hit that!

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  • 7
    74 VOTES

    Pop Pop Hates You

    Stan Smith: Our grandkids are gonna be half loser, I'm gonna hate them, I'm gonna tell them, I'll look them right in the eye and say Pop Pop hates you.

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  • 8
    92 VOTES

    Chose My Mother

    Stan Smith: None of us get to choose our fathers, but we do get to choose our father figures. I chose my mother. That set me back a bit.

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