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The Best Stan Smith Quotes

American Dad is fully of funny one-liners and memorable lines but among the funniest are the best Stan Smith quotes. Stan Smith is a family man who hilariously balances his responsibilities as a CIA agent, husband, and father. But which of these Stan Smith quotes from American Dad is the best? You get to help decide with your votes.

Vote up the Stan Smith character lines that made you laugh out loud and vote down any that you don't want to hear again.

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  • 1

    Make It

    Stan Smith: Steve, shooting a gun is like being intimate with a woman. First, you inspect it to make sure it's clean. Then you grab it on the butt and jam the magazine in. If it doesn't fit, make it.

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  • 2

    Immense Riches

    Francine: You have a stable job, an adoring wife, and a family that loves you. That makes you the richest man in the world.

    Stan Smith: Oh, oh, that's fantastic, Francine. I'm the richest man in the world. (on the phone) Hello, Bill Gates? Turns out I'm the richest guy in the world, because I have an adoring wife and a loving family.

    Francine: Oh, Stan, please.

    Stan Smith: Oh, hang on. That's the other line. Hello, UNICEF? Yes, I'd like to donate some of my immense riches. What's that? Children are still starving in Africa because wife love is worthless to you? What an odd policy!

    Francine: Okay, I get it!

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  • 3

    Something Heart Breaking

    Stan Smith: Steve, it's a beautiful afternoon. Shouldn't you be outside with your friends turning my tool shed into Mordor or Endor or... something heartbreaking?

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  • 4

    Sweet Potatoes

    Francine: Why is anger the only emotion you can express?

    Stan Smith: Because people make me mad all the time for being stupid about everything! Now pass me the f*cking sweet potatoes!

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