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The Most Hilarious Quotes From 'Stuber'

Updated 17 Jul 2019 162 votes 44 voters 1.4k views25 items

If you've seen the movie, we want you to vote for the best Stuber quotes. This is a daunting task, given that the movie has hilarious one-liners from start to finish. The screenplay by Tripper Clancey is packed with funny lines -- some raunchy, others more observant of human nature. It's probably a safe bet that there were a few moments of improvisation between the actors during filming, too. After viewing the film, you'll be making Stuber quotes to your friends for weeks. 

Directed by Michael Dowse, the movie stars Dave Bautista as Vic Manning, a cop hunting down the dealer who eliminated his partner. In an incident of comedic inconvenience, Vic gets a tip about where the dealer will make his next big drop on the exact same day that he has eye surgery. Because he can't see very well, he has to call an Uber to transport him around. Enter Stu (Kumail Nanjiani), the meek, mild-mannered driver who gets sucked into all sorts of violent and scary situations. As with most buddy comedies, the two men don't initially like each other, which leads to a barrage of cutting dialogue.

Vote up the most memorable Stuber quotes from the list below, regardless of which character says them. 

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