The Best Quotes From 'Succession' Season 3

List Rules
Vote up your favorite Loganisms, Roman zingers, Shiv dimes, and K-bombs.

What is the best Succession quote from season 3? Succession has long been known for its' sharp writing full of fast zingers, hilarious one-liners, bad puns delivered with the utmost irony, zany insults, and seemingly made up phrases that are so funny they'll make you snort your very rare and practically priceless glass of Pingus (1996) that your godfather gave you out of your nostrils. Whether it's a Loganism, a K-bomb, an off the top rope depraved comment from Roman, or another clever dime from Shiv, Tom, Cousin Greg, or any of the show's many supporting characters, Succession is full of the best lines in television. So, what's the best quote from season 3 of Succession? What Succession quotes made you laugh out loud? 

Luckily, you have to look no further than episode one. Roman's "I’d lay you badly but I’d lay you gladly" quip stands out. As do Karl's "This is the full Baskin Robbins. Thirty-one flavors of f*ck right there," and Cousin Greg's "This is like OJ. Except, I mean, if OJ never killed anyone." Some of the best Succession quotes rise out of the back-and-forth banter between characters, with one character setting up another for a punchline, like when Kendall said, "All I am asking is for us to move forward from a position of truth." To which Shiv responded, "And are we excluded from the kingdom of heaven unless we accept the one true truth?"

Vote up the best Succession quotes from season three and check back throughout the season as more quotes are added each week. 

Ranked by
  • Tom: I don't mean to be insulting, but having been around a bit, my hunch is that you're going to get f*cked because I've seen you get f*cked a lot. And I've never seen Logan get f*cked once.
    1

    Tom: I don't mean to be insulting, but having been around a bit, my hunch is that you're going to get f*cked because I've seen you get f*cked a lot. And I've never seen Logan get f*cked once.

    23 votes

    EPISODE 6

    When Tom “trophy male wife” Wambsgans is tell you this, like yeah Kendall you're done.

  • Tom: I’d castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat.
    2

    Tom: I’d castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat.

    22 votes

    EPISODE 4

    Fully convinced that Greg and Tom exist outside of the Succession universe in their own little rom-com.

  • Tom: You're going to sue Greenpeace? I like your style, Greg. Who do you think you're going to go after next? Save the Children?
    3

    Tom: You're going to sue Greenpeace? I like your style, Greg. Who do you think you're going to go after next? Save the Children?

    33 votes

    EPISODE 5

    Might as well take down the Red Cross and FEMA while he's at it.

  • Shiv: Nothing's more dangerous than a second-rate individual who sees his chance.
    4

    Shiv: Nothing's more dangerous than a second-rate individual who sees his chance.

    11 votes

    EPISODE 6

    Is Shiv secretly the Joker?

  • Roman: Just wanted to let you know, new dad just dropped.
    5

    Roman: Just wanted to let you know, new dad just dropped.

    10 votes

    EPISODE 6

    iOS dad 2.0

  • Tom: You're still on contraception. It's just like throwing so much cake batter at a brick wall.
    6

    Tom: You're still on contraception. It's just like throwing so much cake batter at a brick wall.

    10 votes

    EPISODE 6

    Everybody saying Tom and Shiv clearly don't love each other and asking why don't Tom and Shiv just get a divorce have clearly never experience this level of trauma bonding.