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The Funniest Quotes From 'The Other Guys'

Updated August 31, 2020 469 votes 112 voters 5.7k views15 items

The best quotes from The Other Guys prove that it is one of the most underrated comedies of the 2010s. Starring Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg and directed by Adam McKay, the comedy is filled with funny one-liners, memorable dialogue, and downright hilarious The Other Guys quotes. 

The best movie quotes from The Other Guys have been collected here for your enjoyment. Vote for the ones that made you roll on the floor laughing.

  • If I Were a Lion
    Photo: Sony

    If I Were a Lion

    Terry Hoitz: No, I don't like you. I think you're a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.

    Allen Gamble: Okay, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said "You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion." We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.

    Terry Hoitz: How you gonna do that?

    Allen Gamble: We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned... Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope.

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    • Discrepancies
      Photo: Sony


      Allen Gamble: At age 11, I audited my parents. Believe me, there were some discrepancies, and I was grounded.

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      • Like a Puppet
        Photo: Sony

        Like a Puppet

        P.K. Highsmith: Ay, ay, ay! If I wanna hear you talk, I'll shove my arm up your a** and work your mouth like a puppet!

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        • I'm Pregnant
          Photo: Sony

          I'm Pregnant

          Dr. Sheila Gamble: Allen, I'm pregnant.

          Allen Gamble: Whose baby is that? Who's the man who did that to you?

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