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Oh, Hi, Mark: Here Are The Funniest Quotes From 'The Room'

Here are the (unintentionally) funniest quotes from The Room. While Tommy Wiseau intended his film to be a romantic drama, the 2003 film became one of the most popular cult classics due to the bad acting and horrible delivery of its dramatic lines.. What are your favorite quotes and funny one-liners from The Room

Vote up the best The Room quotes and go check out a screening to relive the "masterpiece."

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  • 1
    31 VOTES

    I Did Not

    Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullsh*t! I did not hit her! I did not! Oh hi, Mark.

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  • 2
    7 VOTES

    A Pizza

    Lisa: Do you want me to order a pizza?

    Johnny: Whatever, I don't care.

    Lisa: I already ordered a pizza.

    Johnny: You think about everything.

     

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  • 3
    7 VOTES

    Has No Right

    Claudette: Oh! That jerk, Harold! He wants me to give him a share of my house. That house belongs to me! He has no right! I’m not giving him a penny! Who does he think he is?

    Lisa: He's your brother.

    Claudette: He is always bugging me about my house. Fifteen years ago, we agreed, that house belongs to me. Now the value of the house is going up and he’s seeing dollar signs. Everything goes wrong at once. Nobody wants to help me, and I’m dying.

    Lisa: You're not dying, mom.

    Claudette: I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.

    Lisa: Look, don't worry about it. Everything will be fine.

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  • 4
    12 VOTES

    Anyway

    Mark: How was work today?

    Johnny: Oh pretty good. We got a new client... at the bank. We make a lot of money.

    Mark: What client?

    Johnny: I cannot tell you, it's confidential.

    Mark: Oh come on. Why not?

    Johnny: No, I can't. Anyway, how is your sex life?

     

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