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The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes

Updated December 27, 2019 5.4k votes 905 voters 83.7k views

List RulesVote for your favorite Two and a Half Men episodes, no matter how popular they are.

List of the best Two and a Half Men episodes, as voted on by other fans of the series. CBS sitcom fans will also enjoy the best episodes of The Big Bang Theory and the best How I Met Your Mother episodes. With so many memorable episodes of the show, it's hard to trust just one person's opinion of what the top Two and a Half Men episodes of all time are. Fans of Two and a Half Men are extremely passionate about the show, and there is often debate over which episodes are better than others. That's why this list exists- so you can vote for your favorites and we can find out once and for all what everyone thinks the best episode is.

This list below has a variety of episodes, like "Fish in a Drawer" and "Sara Like Puny Alan," in it. What is the best Two and a Half Men episode of all time? Look below and find out.

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  • 1
    Is There a Mrs. Waffles? is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    324
    114

    Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

    November 12, 2007

    Season 5, Episode 8

    Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.

  • 2
    That Voodoo That I Do Do is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    203
    72

    That Voodoo That I Do Do

    November 14, 2005

    Season 3, Episode 8

    Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.

  • 3
    Hi, Mr. Horned One is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    120
    29

    Hi, Mr. Horned One

    October 24, 2005

    Season 3, Episode 6

    Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

  • 4
    Fish in a Drawer is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    155
    55

    Fish in a Drawer

    May 5, 2008

    Season 5, Episode 17

    CSIs investigate a death at Charlie's house.

  • 5
    An Old Flame With a New Wick is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes

    Season 1, Episode 18

    Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

  • 6
    Smooth as a Ken Doll is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    114
    33

    Smooth as a Ken Doll

    April 9, 2007

    Season 4, Episode 19

    Charlie takes a liking to Myra, the witty sister of Judith's fiancé, Herb.

  • 7
    Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    107
    33

    Season 4, Episode 20

    Alan looks forward to Judith's wedding, while Charlie and Myra continue their romance.

  • 8
    Pilot is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    127
    52

    Pilot

    September 21, 2003

    Season 1, Episode 1

    After Charlie's night with a girl is ruined due to Alan's interruption, Alan moves in, being kicked out of his house by his "suffocated" wife: Judith. The next day Alan brings over his son, Jake while he and Judith can talk about their marriage. While eating, Alan finds out that Judith is a lesbian therefore their relationship ends. Charlie takes to Jake, and begins to take him shopping to meet girls and lets him play at his poker games. Upset, Alan moves in with their mother, Evelyn, taking Jake with him. Charlie now feels surprisingly empty and invites Alan and Jake to move back in, convincing Alan that all their problems in life are because of their controlling mother and that Jake would only end up being just as messed up in later life.

  • 9
    Your Dismissive Attidude Towar is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    99
    31

    Your Dismissive Attidude Towards B**bs

    October 10, 2005

    Season 3, Episode 4

    Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them

  • 10
    Hookers, Hookers, Hookers is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    90
    34

    Season 8, Episode 4

    Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down.

  • 11
    Go East on Sunset Until You Re is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes

    Season 1, Episode 3

    After spending a day at Disneyland, Jake gets sick and wants to go to his mothers' house, to have her take care of him. This sends Alan into a state of misery, as he realizes he's losing his wife, and son. Charlie suggests that they go drinking, and Alan agrees. After drinking the boys take a cab home, but at one point they end up at their mothers, where they try to tell her what they think of her, but fail in getting the point across.

  • 12
    Thank God for Scoliosis is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    65
    18

    Thank God for Scoliosis

    January 12, 2009

    Season 6, Episode 12

    Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist.

  • 13
    Camel Filters + Pheromones is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    55
    9

    Season 1, Episode 12

    When Berta is forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work with her, the boys find themselves a little preoccupied with her.

  • 14
    Just Like Buffalo is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    61
    16

    Just Like Buffalo

    May 17, 2004

    Season 1, Episode 23

    Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

  • 15
    The Mooch At The Boo is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    37
    0

    Season 6, Episode 9

    Charlie finds himself in an uncomfortable position when Jake takes off with the daughter of a former NFL player. Charlie's Mercedes proves a boon to Alan's love life.

  • 16
    I Think You Offended Don is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    59
    27

    I Think You Offended Don

    January 19, 2009

    Season 6, Episode 13

    Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced he is the father.

  • 17
    Ergo, The Booty Call is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    35
    4

    Season 3, Episode 16

    Alan has trouble deciding if he should bring his younger girlfriend to Jake's birthday party to meet his mom and his ex-wife. Rose tries to get her boyfriend to act more like Charlie.

  • 18
    She'll Still Be Dead At Halfti is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes

    Season 6, Episode 16

    Charlie has to remove a half-naked woman from his bedroom before Chelsea arrives.

  • 19
    Putting Swim Fins on a Cat is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    34
    4

    Season 5, Episode 5

    Charlie has to come up with ways to keep his girlfriend's 4-year-old amused; Alan becomes a test subject.

  • 20
    Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    35
    5

    Season 5, Episode 3

    Alan convinces Charlie that he needs to date more respectable women and sets him up with a judge. The two double date and their waitress happens to be one of Alan's ex-girlfriends. Charlie's date backfires the following morning, when he ends up in court in front of the judge.

  • 21
    I Merely Slept With a Commie is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    58
    29

    Season 4, Episode 17

    After Evelyn tells Alan and Charlie how she feels about there being no mourners at her friend’s funeral, the boys share their feelings that this could also be the case at her funeral. Evelyn tries to prove them wrong by introducing them to a couple she help adopt a boy from China. The boys return fire by inviting the young man to a play date with Jake.

  • 22
    Damn You, Eggs Benedict is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    31
    2

    Season 6, Episode 3

    Alan, Jake, and Charlie all decide to try new things: Alan is dating more than one woman, Charlie learns to cook, and Jake experiments with beer.

  • 23
    Three Hookers and a Philly Che is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    69
    41

    Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

    February 7, 2011

    Season 8, Episode 15

    While Charlie and Rose carry on their "affair," Alan's chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme.

  • 24
    The Flavin' and the Mavin' is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    30
    2

    Season 6, Episode 4

    Alan is sure that things will turn bad when Charlie starts dating his receptionist.

  • 25
    The Last Thing You Want Is to  is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
    30
    2

    The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump

    October 19, 2003

    Season 1, Episode 5

    After spending a night in Las Vegas, Charlie decides to live up to his promise that he made to Jake about attending his soccer game. During the game, Charlie sets up a play-date with an unattached mother named Kate, and they hit it off. During one of their dates, Charlie seems like he's ready for a serious relation. Alan sets up a meeting with Gloria (one of the soccer moms) to write a soccer newsletter, but Gloria has other intentions for the evening, and he has no idea. During the evening another soccer mom, Brooke, tries to move in on Gloria's plans.

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