Watchworthy

The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes 

Ranker TV
Updated December 27, 2019 3.7k votes 850 voters 81.6k views 263 items

List Rules Vote for your favorite Two and a Half Men episodes, no matter how popular they are.

List of the best Two and a Half Men episodes, as voted on by other fans of the series. CBS sitcom fans will also enjoy the best episodes of The Big Bang Theory and the best How I Met Your Mother episodes. With so many memorable episodes of the show, it's hard to trust just one person's opinion of what the top Two and a Half Men episodes of all time are. Fans of Two and a Half Men are extremely passionate about the show, and there is often debate over which episodes are better than others. That's why this list exists- so you can vote for your favorites and we can find out once and for all what everyone thinks the best episode is.

This list below has a variety of episodes, like "Fish in a Drawer" and "Sara Like Puny Alan," in it. What is the best Two and a Half Men episode of all time? Look below and find out.

Data-driven recommendations based on voting from over 40 million monthly visits to Ranker. Try the free app
list ordered by
1
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 8, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 5

Original Airing: November 12, 2007

Season 5, Episode 8

Charlie writes a children’s song and finds success as Charlie Waffles. The children love him and the mothers seem to as well. Charlie's new found fame irritates Alan.

2
That Voodoo That I Do Do... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 8, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 3

Original Airing: November 14, 2005

Season 3, Episode 8

Charlie tricks Jake into taking ballet lessons, so he can get close to the teacher.

3
An Old Flame With a New ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 18, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 1

Original Airing: March 1, 2004

Season 1, Episode 18

Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.

4
Fish in a Drawer is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 17, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 5

Original Airing: May 5, 2008

Season 5, Episode 17

CSIs investigate a death at Charlie's house.

5
Pilot is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 1, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 1

Original Airing: September 21, 2003

Season 1, Episode 1

After Charlie's night with a girl is ruined due to Alan's interruption, Alan moves in, being kicked out of his house by his "suffocated" wife: Judith. The next day Alan brings over his son, Jake while he and Judith can talk about their marriage. While eating, Alan finds out that Judith is a lesbian therefore their relationship ends. Charlie takes to Jake, and begins to take him shopping to meet girls and lets him play at his poker games. Upset, Alan moves in with their mother, Evelyn, taking Jake with him. Charlie now feels surprisingly empty and invites Alan and Jake to move back in, convincing Alan that all their problems in life are because of their controlling mother and that Jake would only end up being just as messed up in later life.

6
Hi, Mr. Horned One is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
halseylarsen added Hi, Mr. Horned One Episode: 6, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 3

Original Airing: October 24, 2005

Season 3, Episode 6

Ignoring Alan's warnings, Charlie continues to date Isabella until she threatens to put a curse on his manhood.

7
Your Dismissive Attidude... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Your Dismissive Attidude Towards B**bs Episode: 4, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 3

Original Airing: October 10, 2005

Season 3, Episode 4

Berta causes tension between Charlie and Alan, when she temporarily moves in with them

8
Go East on Sunset Until ... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 3, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 1

Original Airing: October 5, 2003

Season 1, Episode 3

After spending a day at Disneyland, Jake gets sick and wants to go to his mothers' house, to have her take care of him. This sends Alan into a state of misery, as he realizes he's losing his wife, and son. Charlie suggests that they go drinking, and Alan agrees. After drinking the boys take a cab home, but at one point they end up at their mothers, where they try to tell her what they think of her, but fail in getting the point across.

9
Smooth as a Ken Doll is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Smooth as a Ken Doll Episode: 19, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 4

Original Airing: April 9, 2007

Season 4, Episode 19

Charlie takes a liking to Myra, the witty sister of Judith's fiancé, Herb.

10
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a ... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 20, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 4

Original Airing: April 16, 2007

Season 4, Episode 20

Alan looks forward to Judith's wedding, while Charlie and Myra continue their romance.

11
Hookers, Hookers, Hooker... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
TonyGatlin added Episode: 4, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 8

Original Airing: October 11, 2010

Season 8, Episode 4

Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after their home burns down.

12
Three Hookers and a Phil... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak Episode: 15, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 8

Original Airing: February 7, 2011

Season 8, Episode 15

While Charlie and Rose carry on their "affair," Alan's chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme.

13
Thank God for Scoliosis ... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Mads Alling added Episode: 12, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 6

Original Airing: January 12, 2009

Season 6, Episode 12

Charlie and Jake fight for the affections of a waitress, while Alan fights sexual tension with his receptionist.

14
Camel Filters + Pheromon... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
'Sandy George' added Episode: 12, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 1

Original Airing: January 5, 2004

Season 1, Episode 12

When Berta is forced to bring her granddaughter Prudence to work with her, the boys find themselves a little preoccupied with her.

15
I Think You Offended Don... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 13, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 6

Original Airing: January 19, 2009

Season 6, Episode 13

Judith is pregnant with a baby girl and Alan is convinced he is the father.

16
I Merely Slept With a Co... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 17, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 4

Original Airing: February 26, 2007

Season 4, Episode 17

After Evelyn tells Alan and Charlie how she feels about there being no mourners at her friend’s funeral, the boys share their feelings that this could also be the case at her funeral. Evelyn tries to prove them wrong by introducing them to a couple she help adopt a boy from China. The boys return fire by inviting the young man to a play date with Jake.

17
Just Like Buffalo is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
'Sandy George' added Just Like Buffalo Episode: 23, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 1

Original Airing: May 17, 2004

Season 1, Episode 23

Charlie tries to sweet talk Judith's divorcee support-group into letting Jake continue to spend weekends at his place.

18
Those Big Pink Things wi... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 14, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 2

Original Airing: January 31, 2005

Season 2, Episode 14

The brothers throw out their mother, after she insults the way Alan is raising Jake. When Alan and Charlie ignore her phone calls, to get their attention she ends up in the hospital. When Alan and Charlie show up at the hospital they aren't sure if she's faking, and try to call her bluff.

19
The Sea is a Harsh Mistr... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 3, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 4

Original Airing: October 2, 2006

Season 4, Episode 3

Charlie tries to surf to impress Dottie, a beautiful woman he just met, but after he nearly drowns he is convinced that he saw his late father.

20
Ate The Hamburgers, Wear... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats Episode: 17, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 1

Original Airing: February 23, 2004

Season 1, Episode 17

Alan offends Charlie by choosing harebrained cousins as Jake's guardians in the event of his death.

21
That Darn Priest is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 16, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 8

Original Airing: February 14, 2011

Season 8, Episode 16

Rose and Alan discover each other's secrets. Meanwhile, Charlie's desperate to get some time alone with Rose.

22
Help Daddy Find His Toen... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Dude added Episode: 6, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 5

Original Airing: Oct 29 2007

Season 5, Episode 6

Charlie's girlfriend is embrassed to go out in public with him. Meanwhile, Jake sneaks out to attend a concert.

23
Our Leather Gear Is in t... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Dude added Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

Season 5, Episode 7

After Alan and Charlie have a fight about Alan's role in the house. Alan packs Jake up and moves in with his mother.

24
I Can't Afford Hyenas is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
dexterror18 added I Can't Afford Hyenas Episode: 14, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 1

Original Airing: February 2, 2004

Season 1, Episode 14

Stan, Charlie's accountant, tries to explain Charlie's financial woes to him.

25
Walnuts and Demerol is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Best 'Two And A Half Men' Episodes
Episode: 11, Season: Two and a Half Men - Season 4

Original Airing: December 11, 2006

Season 4, Episode 11

Charlie's friends and family put a crimp in his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. When Evelyn sees who the date is, she goes to great lengths to force a wedge between them.