157 voters

The Funniest Quotes From 'Zombieland: Double Tap'

Updated October 22, 2019 1.1k votes 157 voters 7.7k views25 items

The zombie apocalypse isn't real, but your chance to vote for the best Zombieland: Double Tap quotes is. It took a full ten years to get a sequel to the 2009 horror-comedy smash, but the wait was worth it. Original stars Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin are all back. Joining them are several appealing newcomers, like Rosario Dawson, Luke Wilson, and Zoey Deutch. In fact, Deutch steals the show. There are near-endless funny lines in the movie, but her character -- a dim bulb named Madison who has improbably survived the zombies by hiding in a yogurt store's freezer -- gets the most hilarious one-liners of all.

The plot finds Tallahassee, Columbus, and Wichita hitting the road when Little Rock decides to run off with a hippie musician. This puts them in danger once again. Of course, thanks to Columbus's well-honed set of personal rules, they've got more than a few safety precautions in place. The group's adventures take them to Graceland and, eventually, a pacifist haven where weapons aren't permitted. Not the greatest idea when the undead are walking the Earth! 

Vote up the most memorable Zombieland: Double Tap quotes from the list below, regardless of which character speaks them.

  • 1

    Nut Up

    Tallahassee: It's time to nut up or shut up.

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  • 2


    Tallahassee (referring to Madison): You know why she's still alive? Because zombies eat brains and she ain't got none.


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  • 3


    Tallahassee: I have nothing against pacifists, I just wanna beat the sh*t out of 'em.

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  • 4

    Flesh-Eating Monster

    Wichita: When you love something, you shoot it in the face, so it doesn't become a flesh eating monster.

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