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The Most Hilarious 'Zombieland' Quotes

The best quotes from Zombieland make you realize how funny the movie really is, even if you haven't seen it in a while. Let's rank the greatest quotes from Zombieland, with the help of your votes. Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, and Woody Harrelson, Zombieland was directed by Ruben Fleischer and released in 2009.

What are your favorite lines from Zombieland? One of the memorable one-liners was when Columbus said, "Don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal." Another great line from Zombieland is, "Believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date. Someday very soon, life's little Twinkie gauge is gonna go empty." spoken by Tallahassee who was played by Woody Harrelson.

Vote up all the Zombieland quotes you want to see at the top of the list, regardless of which character they come from.

  • 1

    The First Ones To Go Were The Fatties

    Columbus: When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go were the fatties.

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    • 2

      So Surreal

      Tallahassee: Goddamn it, Bill f*cking Murray! I had to get that out. I don't mean to gush. This is so surreal. I mean, you probably get this all the time. Maybe not lately, but I'm such a huge fan of yours. You know, I swear, I've seen every one of your movies a million times. I even loved your dramatic roles and just everything. Six people left in the world and one of them is Bill f*cking Murray. I know that's not your middle name. I've been watching you since I was like... Since I could masturbate. I mean, not that they're connected.

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      • 3

        Wanna Stick Together?

        Columbus: You know, Tallahassee and Columbus are, both uh...east.

        Tallahassee: So?

        Columbus: So, Tallahassee, you wanna stick together? At least - at least for a while?

        Tallahassee: Here's the deal, Columbus. Uh, I'm not easy to get along with and I'm sensing you're a bit of a b*tch, so, uh, I'll give this relationship to about Texarkana.

        Columbus: Really? Yeah. You'll take me as far as Texarkana.

        Tallahassee: You're a peppy little spit f*ck, aren't you?

        Columbus: You might wanna buckle up, you know for safety.

        Tallahassee: I can tell already, you are gonna get on my nerve.

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        • 4

          Since Titanic

          Tallahassee: I haven't cried like that since Titanic.

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