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Memes Bill O'Reilly vs. Science: O'Reilly's Top 8 Science FAILs  

Jennifer Lee
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Everyone's favorite insane Fox news pundit, Bill O'Reilly, is waging a war against science and, unfortunately for him, losing horribly. It's pretty embarrassing for all parties involved. From disputing irrefutable facts such as why the tides go in and out, to even going as far as calling teaching science in schools "fascism," here are the 8 craziest Bill O'Reilly quotes that show that he really hates (by which we mean doesn't understand) science.

Virtually every time Bill O'Reilly says, "You can't explain that," you can, in fact, explain that. These Bill O'Reilly quotes show off his stunning lack of scientific knowledge and put any other Bill O'Reilly meme to shame in terms of sheer entertainment value.  

O'Reilly might remind you of Batman Villians with his love of offshore drilling companies and designer shoes for women, but he also loves Food Networks Diners Drive Ins and Dives.
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Science Doesn't Advance Morality, But Jesus Does

"Science doesn't advance the human condition in any moralistic way -- and Jesus did."

Once again completely missing the point of scientific evaluation, Bill O'Reilly decides to drive in a really important point, Jesus did everything for morality while science does nothing.

Awesome point! Why? Because it brings up the fact that science is objective -- which means it is relatively free from human corruption (when done properly,) which means facts that help us better understand the world are based on the best possible understand of impartial and, wait for it, pure.

*Consults bracelet* yep, I think that's actually what Jesus would do.

On a side note, I'm also not sure if Jesus would use the invalidation, corruption and complete misinterpretation of people's core belief systems in order to cash a paycheck. Just sayin'.

Science is All Guesswork, Dinosaurs Might Not Have Even Existed

"As you may know, global warming is cyclical, and right now it's the focus of a ferocious debate -- almost as ferocious as a T. rex..." this was the introductory statement used to establish his show's debate dealing with global warming which almost implies that Bill O'Reilly... doesn't believe in dinosaurs?

In a response made the day after the previous statement as to whether global warming is natural or man-made, he said "it's all guesswork, and I'll leave the definitive word to the deity."

Once again showing us that he loves to straddle a fence and then do gymnastics around both sides, O'Reilly exposes either his lack of short term memory or his sheer ignorance of what was just discussed on the previous day's "Factor."

This switcheroo that O'Reilly finds himself in is different from the rest of his vapid and incredibly doubtful remarks on scientific research because this one doesn't involve his opinions or religious biases, but is simply the product of his naive indifference combined with his usual act of speaking out of his ass.

Reinforcing his inability to have an opinion on topics not based on morality or religion, O'Reilly succeeds once again in bemusing Americans with his enigmatic and idiotic character.

Teaching Evolution as Scientific Theory is Fascism. Fascism.

"Just because science has a gap in it, that does not entitle you to turn to any alternatives -- that's fascism. For you to say that you can't mention an alternative [doesn't make sense because] men [who are] more brilliant than you believe in a higher power, [yet] you insist that you can't even mention it, that is fascism."

O'Reilly's popular solution to his inabilitiy to debate on reasonable terms is to throw an incredible amount of over exaggerated blame onto his opponent, leaving them at a loss for words due to the absurdity of his claims.

In the debate over what should be taught in relation to evolution in schools, involving Richard Dawkins, a self proclaimed "committed atheist," O'Reilly proclaims that the gaps in the theory should "be explored," and that the Christian view and the Christian explanation of the creation of humankind should be presented in classrooms, and to fail to do so is fascism.

Which isn't exactly sound logic, because (and we're just being fair to everyone involved here by keeping things equal) if we were to do that in schools: explore the holes in evolution and teach the Christian creation mythology, then we'd have to spend a part of the class exploring the holes in the Creation theory itself -- and if teachers were forced to do that, then they'd probably have to keep the schools open for two extra days a week (with no smoke breaks, at that.)

Science Has Holes in It - And Those Holes Are GOD

"Science is not always incomplete and I'll give you an example. There are twenty-four hours in a day. Alright. That's science. And there are four seasons. That's science. So you can state things with certainty in biology or any other science you want. However, if I'm a student in your class and you're telling me, well, there might have been a meteor or big bang or there might have been this or there might have been that, I'm gonna raise my hand like the wise guy I am and say "Professor, might there be a higher power that contributed to the fact that we're all here?" and you say - what?"

The wise guy, indeed, O'Reilly riddles Americans once again, posing the perplexing question of how he's able to once again dumbfound us with such genuine ignorance.

During a discussion with Jason Rosenhouse on Intelligent Design creationism, O'Reilly explicitly states his inquiry to impose the idea of God creating the universe to high school students in science classrooms across America. Because by reversing the system, this can only provoke diversification of perspectives and religious tolerance, right?

Never one holding back in sharing his insights, O'Reilly decided to imbue us all with his knowledge of how many hours are in a day and how many seasons are in a year to "prove" his awareness of the concept of time as science. It's 11:45AM... SCIENCE!

Read the transcript and be prepared to either laugh or shoot your brains out, depending on the amount of O'Reilly you've been able to tolerate thus far -- apologies for all the rage you must be experiencing right now.