jokes The Best Biology Jokes  

Jack Napier
1.2k votes 473 voters 67.6k views 25 items

List Rules Vote up any funny joke about biology or biologists

We’re going to be honest with you guys, we don’t know the first thing about biology. We barely passed that class in school, and we didn’t know it could be funny. Thank goodness the people of the internet decided to bless us with such funny jokes about biology. Maybe if we had whoever wrote these jokes as our biology professor we wouldn’t be lamenting that summer semester where we had to retake bio 101. And don’t even get us started about the time we set our pants on fire with that bunsen burner. Or was that chemistry? I don't know, who cares!? Why wallow in the past when we can laugh at this list of the funniest biology jokes and biology puns!?

Before we put this list together of the funniest biology jokes across the web, we didn’t know how many disciplines were covered by the environmental science. But now that we think about it, it makes total sense that marine biology and radiobiology are a part of the same family tree. Well, science tree. As you might expect, the silly science jokes on this list cover everything from scientists that work with dolphins, to lab coat jockeys stuck in a lab all day, and even the amount of biologists it would take to change a light bulb (hint: it’s not what you’d expect). Take a break from trying to discover a new genetic mutation and take a look at these hilarious biology jokes.

Vote on your favorite joke for biologists and leave us a comment if you think you’ve got a funnier joke. Who knows, maybe it’s in your genes. Or jeans. Get it? Jeans.
list ordered by

1
65 33
What Did One Cell Say To His S... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
What Did One Cell Say To His Sister Cell When She Stepped On His Toe? Mitosis

2
79 45
Why Are Men Sexier Than Women? is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
Why Are Men Sexier Than Women? You can't spell sexy without xy.

3
52 26
Why Couldn't The Plants Escape... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
Why Couldn't The Plants Escape Prison? Their cells were surrounded by walls.

4
31 11
How Many Biologists Does It Ta... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
How Many Biologists Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement. 

5
74 46
How Do You Make A Hormone? is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
How Do You Make A Hormone? Don't pay her!

6
38 17
Where Do Hippos Go To Universi... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
Where Do Hippos Go To University? Hippocampus

7
33 13
What Did The Femur Say To The ... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
What Did The Femur Say To The Patella? I kneed you. 

8
47 26
How Is A Dog And A Marine Biol... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
How Is A Dog And A Marine Biologist Alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. 

9
43 26
What Do You Call The Leader Of... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
What Do You Call The Leader Of A Biology Gang? The Nucleus 

10
34 19
What Did The Male Stamen Say T... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
What Did The Male Stamen Say To The Female Pistil? I like your "style."

11
23 11
How Did The Herpatologist Know... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
How Did The Herpatologist Know He Was Going To Be Married Soon? He caught the garter snake. 

12
30 19
How Does Juliet Maintain A Con... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
How Does Juliet Maintain A Constant Body Temperature? Romeostasis 

13
24 14
How Did The English Major Defi... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
How Did The English Major Define Microtome On His Biology Exam? An itsy bitsy book. 

14
19 11
How Did The Blonde Define Hydr... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
How Did The Blonde Define Hydrophobic On Her Chemistry Exam? Fear of utility bills. 

Celebrities You Didn't Know Use Stage Names

15
22 14
What Type Of Flowers Does Ever... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
What Type Of Flowers Does Everybody Have? Two-lips  

16
23 15
Where Do You Bury Dead People? is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
Where Do You Bury Dead People? Asymmetry

17
15 8
Paramecium is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
What Is A Paramecium? Two latin mice

18
19 15
What Do You Call A Cab Which P... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
What Do You Call A Cab Which Provides Drug Therapy? Chemotaxis 

19
18 14
How Do You Identify A Bald Eag... is listed (or ranked) 19 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
How Do You Identify A Bald Eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side. 

20
13 9
What Is The Study Of Real Esta... is listed (or ranked) 20 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
What Is The Study Of Real Estate? Homology

21
15 12
What Washes Up On Beaches? is listed (or ranked) 21 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
What Washes Up On Beaches? Nucleotides

22
12 11
Why Are Environmentalists Bad ... is listed (or ranked) 22 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
Why Are Environmentalists Bad At Cards? They like to avoid the flush. 

23
12 11
Did You Hear the One About The... is listed (or ranked) 23 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
Did You Hear the One About The Recycling Family Of Triplets? Polly, Ethel and Ian 

24
11 13
What Do Football Players Wear ... is listed (or ranked) 24 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
What Do Football Players Wear On Their Heads? Helminth 

25
10 15
What Is The Most Reproductive ... is listed (or ranked) 25 on the list The Best Biology Jokes
What Is The Most Reproductive Area In South America? Spermatagonia