List of Birthday Jokes jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at Birthday Jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love to laugh, and being able to notice life's little absurdities can make even bad days seem a bit cheerier. Some of these jokes about Birthday Jokes are designed with that in mind, from amusing little witticisms to obscure references to puns. Others take a more satirical approach to the subject of Birthday Jokes, mining hypocrisy and criticism for laughs.The jokes on this page take many forms and are written in different formats. Some have a very traditional set-up/punchline style, with the set-up in bold and the punchline written smaller in the space below. Others are more like mini-stories or scenarios, in which case they've simply been broken up in a way that's convenient and easy to read. Go through them all and vote for your favorites!
It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she said . ‘Just give me something with diamonds.’That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.
21st Birthday Family Tradition
His father, grandfather, and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Johnny ‘s 21st birthday came around, he and his friend Jill took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Johnny stepped out of the boat, and nearly drowned! Jill just barely managed to pull him to safety.Furious and confused, Johnny went to see his grandmother. "Grandma," he said, ‘it’s my 21st birthday, so why can’t I walk across the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?" Granny looked deeply into Johnny ‘s troubled eyes and answered, "Because your father, your grandfather, and your great-grandfather were born in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in July, you idiot.
Appreciate Your Gifts
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.
"Well, you can imagine her disappointment.The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything.
She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present?"He replies, "Well, you didn't use what I got you last year!"
Speech on Wife’s 30th Birthday
A husband was giving a speech on wife’s 30th birthday, he saidForget about the past, you can’t change it.
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.