jokes Birthday Jokes  

Jack Napier
281 votes 48 voters 6.4k views 25 items

List Rules Any joke that has to do with birthdays

List of Birthday Jokes jokes and humor, culled from TV shows, films, stand-up comedy and pop culture. These one-liners and humorous anecdotes look at Birthday Jokes from a variety of perspectives, and try to find humor in wry observations, through irony and sarcasm, and even just by being silly. Human beings love to laugh, and being able to notice life's little absurdities can make even bad days seem a bit cheerier. Some of these jokes about Birthday Jokes are designed with that in mind, from amusing little witticisms to obscure references to puns. Others take a more satirical approach to the subject of Birthday Jokes, mining hypocrisy and criticism for laughs.

The jokes on this page take many forms and are written in different formats. Some have a very traditional set-up/punchline style, with the set-up in bold and the punchline written smaller in the space below. Others are more like mini-stories or scenarios, in which case they've simply been broken up in a way that's convenient and easy to read. Go through them all and vote for your favorites!
17 2

The Present

It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she said . ‘Just give me something with diamonds.’

That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.
15 5

Appreciate Your Gifts

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.

"Well, you can imagine her disappointment.The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything.

She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present?"

He replies, "Well, you didn't use what I got you last year!"
11 2

21st Birthday Family Tradition

His father, grandfather, and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that special day, they’d each walked across the lake to the bar on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Johnny ‘s 21st birthday came around, he and his friend Jill took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Johnny stepped out of the boat, and nearly drowned! Jill just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Johnny went to see his grandmother. "Grandma," he said, ‘it’s my 21st birthday, so why can’t I walk across the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?" Granny looked deeply into Johnny ‘s troubled eyes and answered, "Because your father, your grandfather, and your great-grandfather were born in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in July, you idiot.
14 5

Birthday Suit

A wife was begining to worry about her and her husbands non-existant sex life. So one afternoon the woman decided to ask her friend for some advice on how to put the spark back into her marriage.

Her friend gave her some advice that always worked with her own husband. She told the woman that every day before her husband was due back home from work, she puts on her birthday suit and waits at the top of the stairs for him to arrive. when he does, he sees her and cannot resist her and they have wild passionate sex.

The woman ran home and immediately, put on her birthday suit and waited at the top of the stairs for her husband. Within time her husband arrived through the door, looked at her and said "What on earth are you doing?"

The wife replied "it's my birthday suit, don't you like it?"

The husband responded "You could have ironed it first!"