Total Nerd The 13 Craziest Things Ever Used As Medicine (In America)  

Robert Wabash
759 votes 214 voters 216.2k views 13 items Embed

List Rules Vote up the things you can't believe were once used as medicine in America.

A doctor is supposed to be filled with endless amounts of knowledge. We trust them with our health, even with our lives, to be on the cutting edge of the latest treatments and cures for us, but do they really know best? This list is compiled of things doctors used to prescribe to patients as "go-to cures." Things such as heroin, soda, and sex toys. Next time you go to the doctor, ask them if you can have a beer and line of cocaine for your migraine... it worked in the 1920s.

What the craziest things ever used as medication? These odd items will be sure to pique your interest and should be pretty surprising.
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Soothing Syrup


Soothing Syrup is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The 13 Craziest Things Ever Used As Medicine (In America)
Photo: Boston Public Library/flickr/CC-BY 2.0


This product is the single most amazing product that I found in my research. It was said to be an "indispensable aid to mothers and child-care workers." This little concoction was considered a medicinal product invented by Mrs. Charlotte N. Winslow and first marketed by her son-in-law, Jeremiah Curtis and Benjamin A. Perkins in Bangor, Maine, in 1849.

They marketed this product in recipe books, women's magazines, anywhere they could get mothers to see it. It claimed to cure everything. Toothache, stomach ache, colic, you name it, and this "soothing syrup" fixed it.





Want to know what was in this amazing syrup? Well, one grain (65 mg) of morphine per fluid ounce, cannabis, heroin, powdered opium, which are the active ingredients to put your little one to sleep. It also had sodium carbonate, spirits foeniculi, and aqua ammonia in it, because....why not?




The product was removed from the market in 1938, that's 89 years of service.

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Vibrators


Vibrators is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The 13 Craziest Things Ever Used As Medicine (In America)
Photo: James Cridland/flickr/CC-BY 2.0

Girls have mood swings, it happens (at least once a month). This used to be called "female hysteria," and someone came up with the perfect cure...

It started as a "medical procedure" where women would go to the doctor complaining of mood swings, cramps, or emotions of any kind, and the doctor would digitally stimulate her to alleviate these symptoms. But apparently, this got to be a problem for the doctors – women would come in and complain of anything, headache, anxiety, etc. Basically, these women were PMSing everyday in order to receive this treatment. Doctors became so overrun with patients claiming to have "female hysteria" that the majority of their time was spent with their hands up ladies petticoats.

So, one bright chap got an idea... what if these women could stimulate themselves at home with a "medical tool," and thus, the invention of the vibrator.

This way you could treat yourself at home without endless visits to the doctor. You can cure all your ailments with this simple little tool. Now you can cut your horseback riding in half! Doctors used to tell women to go ride a horse, until they came up with the first sybian machine.





See, masturbation can be fun and medicinal!
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Ketchup


Ketchup is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The 13 Craziest Things Ever Used As Medicine (In America)
Photo:  Alexas_Fotos/Pixabay/CC0 1.0

Back in the 1830s, there was something called Dr. Miles Compound Extract of Tomato. It was used to treat indigestion, diarrhea, liver disease, and as a cholera preventive.

It's also really great on a hot dog, as it turns out. Dr. Miles Compound Extract of Tomato is just a fancy way of saying ketchup.

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Trepanation


Trepanation is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The 13 Craziest Things Ever Used As Medicine (In America)
Photo: Luciana Christante/flickr/CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0

Much like a lobotomy, trepanation was a treatment for seizures and migraines. Doctors thought that if you had mental issues, physical or emotional, you probably needed a couple of holes in your head.





The doctor would lay you down and take a contraption with three drills, place it on your head (side, front, back, it didn't really matter) and drill. This practice went on for a very long time, even though people had no relief from their aliments.




That looks like it would take away anyone's headache, I can't imagine why this didn't work.


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