Unspeakable Crimes Bouncers And Security Guards Reveal The Signs Some Serious Shenanigans Are About To Go Down  

Elise Hennigan
141 votes 58 voters 1k views 18 items

List Rules Vote up the basic bar-hoppers that you're likely to see on your next night out.

If you want to know what's really going on up in the club, you've got to seek out the people who have seen it all. Bouncers and security guards always have their eyes peeled and they're trained to shut down tomfoolery before it explodes and ruins everyone's night. What may seem like harmless antics from a drunk dude or socially awkward girl to the untrained eye, could really be the precursors of a ticking time bomb. We've sorted through tons of bouncer and security guard stories and collected the best ones here so you can learn who to watch out for to avoid drama (or to see it go down if that's what you're into).

We can probably all agree that bros who do anything to get drunk are trouble. The same goes for girls who are feeling themselves so much that they get up on the table to dance, and anyone who shows you their concealed carry permit. Bad things always happen in crowded bars but would you ever expect anything crazy from the friendly, outgoing guy who went clubbing by himself? These maintainers of club civility believe that you should. Read their descriptions and take note.

1 22 VOTES

The Girl Who's Not Afraid To Get Petty

An anonymous bouncer on Reddit calls this type the "Mama Junie."

She's usually a "slightly to very overweight white girl who is going to start sh*t with someone else for some petty... sh*t and drag her boyfriend into it somehow. This girl would invariably describe herself as, 'a redneck girl' and uses phrases on Facebook like 'if you can't handle me at my best...'"

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2 13 VOTES

The Guy Who Comes By Himself But Talks To Everybody

A former security guard for a high capacity bar says:

"In my experience, the people who tend to get in the most fights are [the] lone drunk [guys who try] to talk to EVERYBODY. Typically, this person talks to the wrong guy's girlfriend or can't take subtle hints that the group doesn't want him around. You take this guy plus another guy who's just drunk enough to have a short fuse and stuff happens."

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The Group Of Nervous Girls

A doorman on Reddit shares:

"If one to three girls walk in looking nervous, ALWAYS stop the guy who steps in immediately behind them. Nine out of 10 times, they circle back and thank you for stopping the creep they couldn't ditch."

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4 19 VOTES

The Solo Drunk Dude Who's Looking For Trouble

One Redditor calls this archetype the "The Lone Gunman."

"This guy probably came in drunk and should have been cut off. Often times on a slow night, this guy shows up. He somehow finds a way to offend the wrong guy, and suddenly, he was in the Marines and starts throwing leg sh*t like a spastic Walker, Texas Ranger. Easy to get out of the bar [but] he will be back. [And he will] probably threaten to kill you."

15 4
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