In the early aughts, the news was dominated by two people: President George W. Bush and pop star Britney Spears. In the era of the 24-hour news cycle, this may not feel significant to some, but there is an online stronghold of conspiracy theorists who believe Britney Spears was on the Bush administration's payroll.
It sounds wild, sure, but for nearly every scandal of the Bush administration, there was a huge Britney Spears event coinciding with it. Despite the fact that correlation does not equal causation, some argue the parallels between Britney Spears and George W. Bush are too blatant to ignore. Did she really decide to randomly shave her head the same day the president requested additional "aggressive forces" for the War on Terror? Did one of Britney Spears's hits just happen to drop as the Bush administration was scrambling to cover up the underlying chaos in Afghanistan? Some would argue that it was all on purpose.
Here is why some people believe in this bizarre Britney Spears celebrity conspiracy theory.
Spears Was Vocal About Trusting Bush
Date: September 3, 2003
If you think Spears has always steered clear of politics, think again. In 2003, she was interviewed by Tucker Carlson on CNN's Crossfire, and the clip was later used in the Michael Moore documentary Fahrenheit 9/11.
In the interview, Carlson asked her, "A lot of entertainers have come out against the [conflict] in Iraq. Have you?"
Spears responded: "Honestly, I think we should just trust our president in every decision he makes and should just support that, you know, and be faithful in what happens." If this conspiracy is real, these quotes show her unquestioned loyalty to President Bush.
She Had A 55-Hour Marriage Before The Scooter Libby Trial
Date: January 4, 2004
In 2003, the former aide of President Bush Scooter Libby was under investigation for leaking the name of undercover CIA officer Valerie Plame. The incident, which became known as "Plamegate," picked up more and more steam by the end of 2003, with a grand jury looking into the evidence. It was generating bad publicity for the Bush administration, but for a while, the media had a brief distraction.
On January 3, 2004, Britney Spears had a surprise wedding in Las Vegas to childhood friend Jason Alexander. Just 55 hours later, the marriage was annulled. The Bush administration probably wished the marriage could have lasted even longer, but for at least 55 hours, the media had something else to write about.
- Photo: Jim Watson/Staff/AFP
She Gave Birth After Bush Was Criticized For Hurricane Katrina
Date: September 15, 2005
Hurricane Katrina struck the Gulf Coast on August 29, 2005, destroying parts of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama. The Bush administration was heavily criticized for their slow and inadequate response. Thousands of people were suffering, and President Bush complimented FEMA head Michael Brown, saying: "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."
On September 15, 2005, in the midst of all this negative press, Spears gave birth to her first child, Sean Preston. For a few days, the heat on Bush was dialed back. There is no way Spears or Bush could have possibly had the foresight to match up the birth of her child with a natural disaster, but the timing still feels eerie to some believers.
Her Parenting Skills Were Questioned Around The Same Time Dick Cheney Shot Someone
Date: February 2006
Spears's parenting skills were called into question when she was photographed driving with her infant son on her lap. Child advocates criticized Spears, who explained the incident only happened because it was right after a scary encounter with paparazzi.
While the media was dissecting Spears's child-rearing capabilities, Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot a man in the face during a hunting trip. In this instance, the Spears incident happened first, but conspiracy theorists have thought of a loophole: perhaps Cheney was simply trying to distract people from criticizing one of his many alleged pawns.