Every year, a cadre of weirdos, freaks, deviants, hippies, would-be circus performers, drug aficionados, spiritual wanderers, itinerant sexual spirits, pyromaniacs, and squares trying to escape the shackles of everyday life descend upon a sparse flat in the Nevada desert for eight days of anarchic communal living. Burning Man isn’t just another festival, it’s an experiment in temporary society that’s grounded by a set of principles set upon the event's inception in 1986 (at least in theory; it may also be a playground for the wealthy). While it seems to be in direct opposition to the concept of the festival, there is Burning Man etiquette.
One of the biggest points organizers stress is to leave the desert the way you found it, and this deceptively simple idea has branched out into a twisting garden of rules for Burning Man that have to be followed in order to ensure everyone’s good time. The foundational principle of "don't f*ck things up" applies to almost every facet of life.
If you’ve ever seen footage of this extravagant celebration of mutated art cars, naked dancers, and fire fire fire, you’ve probably thought to yourself: “Are there rules at Burning Man? Or is it a parched state of chaos in which fornicators and pyros set out to eradicate the fabricated meaning imposed upon our natural state of nihilism?"
You better believe there are rules, jabroni. Like any festival, Burning Man has to concede some of its freewheeling status to keep everyone safe and local government happy. Some Burning Man rules are as simple as cleaning up after yourself and being nice. That's easy enough. It's the unspoken rules that can be a bit confusing. If you’re planning on attending Burning Man and don’t know what to expect, it would behoove you to learn the secret laws of the land so you don’t make yourself look like a fool in front of seasoned Burners.
Study these strange rules at Burning Man that you didn’t know people have to follow and get weird with it.
Kill As Many Rabbits As You Want
One of the quickest ways to relieve yourself of desert-festival-based stress is to get medieval on a bunch of bunnies who are living their rabbit lives while you take part in an experimental community.
According to Burning Man's survival guide: "There are jackrabbits in the area. It is not worth jeopardizing your safety to swerve in an attempt to avoid them."
So, you know, f*ck 'em.
Don't Use The Hot Springs!
Let's set the scene: You just danced your pants off in the middle of a pile of dirt and you're covered in the thick, glistening sweat-filth tar that comes with taking drugs in the desert. You want to relax. Common sense says that you should take a dip in one of the many hot springs in the Black Rock Desert, right? WRONG.
You'll probably die. One Burner said they witnessed a dog get boiled alive in one of the hottest springs in 1994.
Bring Bacon If You Want To Make Friends
It seems counterintuitive - you'd think the environmentally conscious people that populate Burning Man would be horrified by the idea of eating an animal - but Burners freaking love bacon. It's one of the festival's biggest commodities.
If you're looking to make friends, offering them bacon is a solid way to break the ice.
We've all seen photos of Burning Man, but have we really seen photos from Burning Man? Think about it. The "no photos" policy is in place so attendees can cut loose and do whatever they would naturally do if they weren't surrounded by thousands of pocket-sized cameras, and the kind of people who can really afford to do this desert anarchy festival correctly are some of the wealthiest people in the world.
It wouldn't endear them to their uptight colleagues if they were photographed zonked out of their mind on molly and wearing a diaper.