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Chauffeurs Are Sharing The Strangest Things They've Overheard From Passengers

April 30, 2021 4.6k votes 753 voters 46.6k views16 items

List RulesVote up your favorite chauffer stories.

Chauffers and drivers have the unique job of meeting multiple people a day. While most commutes happen without a hitch, some stories really stand out. Reddit user u/Cicallis asked: "Chauffeurs, what are some of the weird/shocking conversations you have overheard?" and the responses had us pumping the brakes. (Some stories edited for length).

  • 1

    Billy Bob Thornton On A Press Tour

    From Reddit user u/GoFox_97:

    Billy Bob Thornton was doing radio press for a movie about to come out, meaning he had to stop by 6-7 radio stations for interviews. He wanted to have a cigarette in the vehicle on the way to the next interview, but I had to let him know our company has a no smoking policy in our vehicles.

    He asked me to call the owner to make an exception but the owner said no and its a $250 cleaning fee if he smoked in the vehicle.

    He asked to stop by a bank, came out and handed me $5,000 cash and said, "here's for the whole d*mn pack"

    He smoked in the car the rest of the trip. Later I got up the nerve to ask him if that's the most expensive pack of cigarettes he's ever smoked? All he said was "not even close" (never explained it further).

    I think about him often...

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  • 2

    Breaking Into Casino Vaults For A Living

    From Reddit user u/Altitude528O:

    I worked as a “lux” Uber driver.

    I had a fascinating conversation with a gentleman whom I picked up from the airport whose job it was to break into casino vaults around the world and help them improve security.

    He went into extensive detail about how the most recent vault he broke into in Las Vegas. It started with access through a construction entrance, he then climbed through an open window, jimmied a door open, found an unattended security pass and strolled into the vault.

    While it wasn’t exactly a “stroll,” he told me about some of the “old” security measures including false rooms with doors that would seal behind you, infrared camera, laser trip wires, complex locks, finger print scanners, etc.

    He then took a selfie from the inside of the vault, sent it to the head of security with the caption, “is this your vault!?” The head of security was promptly let go. He showed me the selfie!

    For those curious what the inside of the vault looked like, it was surprisingly similar to the vault in the movie Ocean’s 13.

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  • 3

    Asking To Take A Jet Off His Hands

    From Reddit user u/letsryan:

    About 25 years ago I had a summer job at a country club. Six figure joining fee, five figure continuing membership dues, and that got you nothing but the privilege of paying top dollar for rounds, food, etc.

    One of my duties was driving members to and from airports - usually private airports for private jets.

    One time I’m driving two guys to the airport, and one of them starts complaining. Seems he and his wife are always fighting over who gets the jet every weekend, and where they want to go.

    "Well," the other one replied, "my third jet is actually just gathering dust right now, since my son went to college. Wanna take it off my hands?"

    They shook on it right there in the van.

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  • 4

    Losing Marie Osmond

    From Reddit user u/MastadonBob:

    Friend of mine worked for an upscale concierge chauffeur service. His most memorable moment came when he lost Marie Osmond. Fairly simple gig, go to airport and pick up Marie Osmond, who was to be the featured entertainer at a private event. Plane comes in, he meets her, she has carry-on bag but her checked suitcase, containing her stage dresses and makeup, is missing.

    She asks to be taken to the nearest upscale mall. He does as instructed, she goes into a large upscale department store, selects two long sequined cocktail dresses and goes to the fitting room to try them on.

    Unfortunately, there are two entrances and exits to the fitting room, and Marie Osmond exits out through the other side and cannot find my chauffeur buddy, who is waiting patiently on the side she'd entered...20 minutes passes. He thinks something has gone wrong, so he grabs a female manager and asks her to go into the fitting rooms and ask for Marie Osmond. The manager thinks she is being pranked and declines.

    Chauffeur buddy is in mini-panic mode now, running wildly around the store asking random customers, "Have you seen Marie Osmond? Have you seen Marie Osmond?" Store security is summoned and he is asked to leave the premises right NOW. He calls his employer and tells them he has lost Marie Osmond. The employer doesn't have her cell phone number but has her agent's number and he is not accepting calls.

    She has in the meantime taken a cab to the gig, thinking she has been forgotten. Lots of apologies eventually ensued and there were no repercussions.

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