25 Super Funny Chemistry Jokes

List Rules
Vote up any good funny joke about chemistry, chemists, or chemical formulas and elements

It’s hard to say what the funniest branch of physical science is, but when it comes down to it, our money’s on chemistry. Think about it: they wear lab coats, get to play with weird colored liquids all day, and we’re pretty sure The Nutty Professor was a chemist. If those aren’t enough reason to support this theory, then you can just go jump in a medium-sized body of H20. Anyway, here is the funniest list of jokes for chemistry geeks to be found anywhere on the web.

Are you still unsure of our chemistry joke credentials? Element puns? We got ‘em. Jokes about theoretical temperatures? Yep. Punchlines involving long-dead chemists? You best believe we’ve got you covered on those. If you STILL doubt our chemistry geek joke prowess, then it’s time that you check out the list for yourself and prepare for your blood to run as cold as absolutely zero, OK? The nerdy chemistry jokes on this list are insanely silly, so if you’re looking for jokes to tell at your next dinner part, you need to realign your expectations and get ready to giggle, guffaw, and maybe even snort as you read through this list of the funniest chemistry jokes ever.

After you laugh yourself silly, vote on your favorite chemistry joke, and start using them to get extra credit in Chem 101. You can thank us later.
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list ordered by
  • What Did Silver Say To Gold In A Bar?
    1

    What Did Silver Say To Gold In A Bar?

    "AU, get outta here!"
  • What Do You Do With A Sick Chemist?
    2

    What Do You Do With A Sick Chemist?

    If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
  • What Do Chemists Call A Benzene Ring With Iron Atoms Replacing Carbon Atoms?
    3

    What Do Chemists Call A Benzene Ring With Iron Atoms Replacing Carbon Atoms?

    A ferrous wheel.
  • What Would Happen If The Silver Surfer & Iron Man Teamed Up?
    4

    What Would Happen If The Silver Surfer & Iron Man Teamed Up?

    They'd be alloys. 
  • We Do We Make Such Bad Chemistry Jokes?
    5

    We Do We Make Such Bad Chemistry Jokes?

    Because all the good ones Argon.
  • Anyone Know Any Jokes About Sodium?
    6

    Anyone Know Any Jokes About Sodium?

    Na.
  • What Do You Do With A Dead Chemist?
    7

    What Do You Do With A Dead Chemist?

    Barium
  • We Asked A Guy Sitting Next To Us If He Had Any Sodium Hypobromite.
    8

    We Asked A Guy Sitting Next To Us If He Had Any Sodium Hypobromite.

    He said NaBrO
  • Why Are Chemists Great For Solving Problems?
    9

    Why Are Chemists Great For Solving Problems?

    Because They Have All The Solutions.
     
  • What Did The Scientist Say When He Found 2 Isotopes Of Helium?
    10

    What Did The Scientist Say When He Found 2 Isotopes Of Helium?

    HeHe
  • Titanium Is The Most Amorous Metal -
    11

    Titanium Is The Most Amorous Metal -

    When it gets hot, it'll bond with anything.
  • What Show Are Cesium & Iodine Watching Together?
    12

    What Show Are Cesium & Iodine Watching Together?

    CSI!
  • Why Do Chemists Like Nitrates So Much?
    13

    Why Do Chemists Like Nitrates So Much?

    They're cheaper than day rates.
  • If You're Not Part Of The Solution,
    14

    If You're Not Part Of The Solution,

    you're part of the precipitate.
  • The Name's Bond. Ionic Bond.
    15

    The Name's Bond. Ionic Bond.

    Taken, not shared.
  • If H2O Is The Formula For Water, What's The Formula For Ice?
    16

    If H2O Is The Formula For Water, What's The Formula For Ice?

    H20 cubed!
  • Why Do Chemists Enjoy Working With Ammonia?
    17

    Why Do Chemists Enjoy Working With Ammonia?

    Because it's pretty basic stuff.
  • Organic Chemistry Is Difficult.
    18

    Organic Chemistry Is Difficult.

    Those who study it have alkynes of trouble. 
  • What Do You Call A Clown Who's In Jail?
    19

    What Do You Call A Clown Who's In Jail?

    A Silicon.
  • What's The Name of 007's Eskimo Cousin?
    20

    What's The Name of 007's Eskimo Cousin?

    Polar Bond
     
  • What's The Chemical Formula For Coffee?
    21

    What's The Chemical Formula For Coffee?

    CoFe2
  • What Element Is A Girl's Future Best Friend?
    22

    What Element Is A Girl's Future Best Friend?

    Carbon.
  • Did You Hear About The Chemical Workers?
    23

    Did You Hear About The Chemical Workers?

    Are they unionized?
  • Why Was The Mole Of Oxygen When He Left The Bar?
    24

    Why Was The Mole Of Oxygen When He Left The Bar?

    Because he got Avogadro's number!
  • How Did The Chemist Survive A Famine?
    25

    How Did The Chemist Survive A Famine?

    By subsisting on titrations.