Custodians And Janitors Recount The Grodiest Gunk They've Scraped From Walls, Toilets, And Floors

List Rules
Vote up the messes that were anything but hot.

Custodians and janitors, the world's unsung heroes, never fully get recognized for the gunky gauntlet the rest of the world sends them through every day. Even if you consider yourself a horror story junkie, custodians' terrifying tales will strike a primal fear into you. When you think about it, janitorial nightmares happen daily, committed by people just like you. That's what makes these terrifying recounts so frightening. You know that your coworker, your significant other, or the person next to you on the bus could be capable of dropping a deuce on the bathroom floor and just leaving it there to become as callous as their disregard for janitorial staff. Despite what you might think, your room rate does not, in fact, give you free reign to trash your hotel room

Though to be fair, many emergency room cleanups occur not because of human apathy but because of genuine sickness, so those infringers get a little leeway. In the end, however, most of the janitor-observed nightmares below happened due to outlandishly libertine lifestyles, ones even the Marquis de Sade would likely take issue with.

  • 1
    380 VOTES

    It's Raining Matter, Fecal Matter

    From user ARi0S:

    "I worked in a movie theater and went in to check the bathroom, [the] instant I walk near this one stall I smell some sh*t. So I flush the toilet, look around, nothing, no poop anywhere, but the smell remains. I check the two stalls next to it, nothing, they're clean.

    "So I head back into the stall and then it hits me, I take a step back and take off my hat (thank God it was part of the uniform), to see sh*t on my hat, so I look up to see someone smeared their droppings on the ceiling. Spent an hour cleaning sh*t off of a ceiling."

    380 votes
  • 2
    567 VOTES

    A Family That Pees Together

    From a deleted user

    "I work at a clothing store and people are disgusting.

    "A woman and her two daughters went in a change room, left in a hurry. My coworker goes in after them to make sure there's nothing in there, and the three of them had peed in a plastic grocery bag - it was almost entirely full- and hung it on one of the door hinges."

    567 votes
  • 3
    541 VOTES

    Fresh Out (From Underneath) The Oven

    From Korrin85:

    "Custodian here. One of the students at the dorms decided instead of disposing used tampons in the trash or napkin holders like a normal person would do, she instead threw the used tampons under the oven for an entire year. Just imagine, many bloody tampons just sitting under the oven, getting heated over and over again..."


    541 votes
  • 4
    605 VOTES

    Something's Fishy

    From superhareball:

    "I used to empty the garbage bins on the highway stops. I would drive all day, just to empty 10 bins or so, only needing to do the run twice a week.

    "Over the weekend, the bins didn't get emptied for five days, and some clever assh*le filled a bin with fish. This was in the middle of summer. The stench was unimaginable. I've usually got a pretty strong stomach, but that's the first time I've vomited from smell alone. The maggots writhing around in the fish slush didn't help either.

    "What was already a horrific sight, was made worse by the fact that the plastic bags we line the bins with (they are just steel cans) had failed from the weight of the fish, so everything was kinda just swilling around in the cans with millions of flies going nuts.

    "In the end I had to do my job and bag up that gigantic pile of rotten fish flesh, bit by bit.

    "Worst day as a garbage man."

    605 votes
  • 5
    279 VOTES

    Shampoo Those Carpets

    From Roblo_Escobar:

    "I used to be a carpet cleaner years ago. I've seen it all. Piss, blood, sh*t, every known food product, markers, etc. The absolute worst? I have a top four.

    1. This lady who 'just moved in' wanted me to clean her white carpet, every square foot was covered in either a pile of sh*t or a piss stain from her god awful Pomeranian. Got it spotless.

    2. This guy called up for an estimate. Walked in the house and everything was either moved out or plastic wrapped. Dark stains around a chair with lots of cloths and blankets on the chair along with blood. Turns out the guy's brother blew his brains out. He never called back.

    3. This was just weird. Cleaning a living room, bedroom, and hallway. Pretty standard. Finishing up and the lady asked me to clean a closet. Horror scene. Her dog had puppies in there. Blood, placenta, poop. It was pretty horrible. Got it cleaned.

    4. The worst. Nice old lady meets me at the door. Leads me downstairs to where her son lives. Sweet Jesus. There's not a single spot of clean carpet. Lady explains to me her 35-year-old son never left the basement, no job, no friends. Pretty much a neckbeard supreme. An entire pizza upside down on the carpet, spilled bottle of syrup, piss stains near bed from bottles of pee, crushed highlighters in the carpet. I used a blacklight (urine glows) and the room looked like a Jackson Pollack painting. Got it cleaned."

    279 votes
  • 6
    394 VOTES

    What A Delivery

    From Lumi61210:

    "I used to clean vacation rentals. My first house was slated to take my partner and I about three-and-a-half hours to clean.

    "We show up on the scheduled day and what can only be described as a crackhead comes out of the house with her fly undone and all twitchy says 'I'm gonna need a late check out, it's okay, I've been here awhile.' This is not okay, so we call head office, who says to come back later.

    "We come back and there is a pitbull puppy in the house. Not supposed to be any pets on property. We decide to come back later. The next day we come back and there is blood, sh*t, bent and burnt spoons, a pipe, rancid bacon grease, all kinds of rotten ish, and condoms in the sink. Oh god, the horror. There is a half-used enema in a bathroom drawer. All the hand towels are in the trash and ALL of them reek of sh*t. The batteries to all the remotes are missing. About half the light bulbs are unscrewed.

    "Then we find it: a journal with swastikas doodled on the cover. Upon further research, turns out the crackhead was in town to have a baby that was being adopted by a couple. This was not the first time. The couple put her up in this nice house for her stay, and as a token of her appreciation, she f*cked everything up beyond all belief. 17 hours later we finally get to leave as the professional carpet cleaners came in."

    394 votes