Graveyard Shift Custodians And Janitors Recount The Grodiest Gunk They've Scraped From Walls, Toilets, And Floors  

Mick Jacobs
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List Rules Vote up the messes that were anything but hot.

Custodians and janitors, the world's unsung heroes, never fully get recognized for the gunky gauntlet the rest of the world sends them through every day. Even if you consider yourself a horror story junkie, custodians' terrifying tales will strike a primal fear into you. When you think about it, janitorial nightmares happen daily, committed by people just like you. That's what makes these terrifying recounts so frightening. You know that your coworker, your significant other, or the person next to you on the bus could be capable of dropping a deuce on the bathroom floor and just leaving it there to become as callous as their disregard for janitorial staff. Despite what you might think, your room rate does not, in fact, give you free reign to trash your hotel room

Though to be fair, many emergency room cleanups occur not because of human apathy but because of genuine sickness, so those infringers get a little leeway. In the end, however, most of the janitor-observed nightmares below happened due to outlandishly libertine lifestyles, ones even the Marquis de Sade would likely take issue with.

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Spit Happens


From What_I_Thought:

"Janitor at a strip club. You learn quickly to convince yourself what you're cleaning is just spit. Spit on the urinal. Spit on the chair. Spit spit spit."

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Mold You So


From jugboard:

"House cleaning: my wife and I worked as a team and got called to do a move-out clean. These are typically pretty easy since there's almost no furniture. We show up to the townhouse unit and the people greet us. They're Wiccan and they have a box full of cats (five, I think) and hand us the check. Then they say: 'Have fun, we're heading out of town!'

"The place was like a black mold resort. Walls? Black mold. Fridge? Black mold. Bedroom ceiling? Black mold. The only room that was free of it was the bathroom but that's because it had f*cking shag carpet in it and was growing mushrooms.

"My wife and I walked through the place, looked at each other, set the check on the counter and started to leave. Then they came back and gave us milkshakes (which is a horrible thing to consume while cleaning mind you) and the husband says: 'I forgot to harvest the bathroom!'

"We left the shakes and just nope'd the f*ck out."

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One For The Dogs


From BigBadDog:

"I worked at a dog boarding kennel where I was basically a janitor for rich people's dogs. One week, there were about 100 dogs there for a holiday. One of them came down with kennel cough and over the next couple days almost all of them had it. I walked in one morning to an ocean of diarrhea and puke everywhere, and one dog had its entire head coated in its buddy's vomit. There were no floor drains, and only one other person [was] there so it was an absolute nightmare to clean up."

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At Least Her Cats Got Fed


From fernwoodmamba:

"I cleaned the house of a woman who would crack eggs on her countertops to feed her cats. She would also put cat food in her bed so that the cats would be more likely to sleep with her. I once found a half-eaten birthday cake, covered in mold in the back of her closet."