It’s that time of the year again; the sun is out, the air feels chill, and the sky is turning a bootylicious sea punk orange. Coachella is here bbs! The desert music festival is 15 years old, and even though the original line up was stacked with acts as diverse as Radiohead and Wu-Tang Clan, the most recent line-ups have consisted of dad rock bands like Interpol (or in 2015, Steely Dan!) and sad boy hip hop acts like Drake and Lil B.
While the quality of the music has declined, the amount of dum-dums in wayfarers willing to pay an increasingly exorbitant amount of cash to Instagram "Coachella fashion" ie dumb hipsters has sky rocketed, making Indio, California the hipster capital of the world every year for two weekends in April. If you’re missing out, don’t fret, because we’ve put together this list of reasons you should be glad you’re not going to Coachella.If you’re one of the bajillion dummies that are Ubering out to Coachells this year, there are a few things you’ll want to bring: Tortoise shell Ray-Bans, some kind of day-glow apparel (the real Coachellers strap on a neon green fanny pack as part of their festival fashion), and a horribly offensive Native American headdress. If you’re staying home but still want to feel like a part of the scene, squeeze into your tightest pair of skinny jeans, and turn on your favorite chillwave playlist before scrolling through this collection of reasons why you should be glad you’re not at Coachella. Vote for your favorite (or least favorite, if you’re being totes ironic) hipster before leaving a comment to let us know how we’re sooooo 2014.