Unspeakable Crimes Cops Reveal The Best And Worst Ways Drivers Have Tried To Get Out Of Tickets  

Bailey Benningfield
16 items

There are a lot of systemic issues with the police system in America. A routine traffic stop can quickly turn into a nightmarish scenario, especially for people of color. Fortunately, though, most of the traffic stops on this list ended up just fine. Rather than following best practices when getting pulled over, these violators came up with interesting excuses - some worked and others didn't. The more inventive ones, however, could be a surefire method to avoid traffic tickets.

He Was An Anesthesiologist Speeding To Treat A Cop

From Redditor /u/LotusCSGO:

My dad was pulled over going way, WAY too fast on the interstate late at night (like 1-2 am). He is an anesthesiologist, and got called in to work because someone had been shot. It turned out that the person who had been shot was a cop, so not only did my dad not receive a ticket, he got a police escort to the hospital, and he has refused to tell me exactly how fast they went.

Hearing that story as a kid made me think my very by-the-book, awkward dad was super cool.

He Lied And Said His Dad Was Having A Heart Attack

From Redditor /u/scapeity:

The year is 2007, and I was given an Automatic Electric Defibrillator or AED, and a bunch of us in my department had gotten them as well. Some wonderful local business donated them, I went through a class, and I had this thing in my car, and I was ready to save some motherf*cking lives.

A guy working my area announces he is trying to stop someone doing 98 [mph] in a 45 [mph zone], and by some act of will, a few minutes later, the person pulls over. I start heading to the location of the stop to make sure it was not something very serious, and I get there, get out of my car, and this 20-something-year-old is explaining that his father is having a HEART ATTACK.

I took the dude's ID out of my co-workers hand and asked, "Is this the address your father is at?!?!?!" and the kid goes, "Yeah."

And I f*cking ran like action-movie style to my squad car, put that sh*t in f*cking gear, and everything went to plaid... ludicrous speed-like. I radioed and told dispatch to send an ambulance as well.

I get to the address, which is actually in a very affluent part of town, and the driveway has a gate on it.

No f*cking time to hit a button, I throw this f*cking suitcase AED over the gate and climb that motherf*cker after it, and then I pick that sh*t up and I truck my fat [butt] in my polyester uniform up the longest f*cking driveway in America... where I bang the sh*t out of the front door screaming, "Police... I am here to help!!!"

This 60-year-old guy answers the door gingerly while holding a tumbler full of what I guess was some kind of booze that I cannot afford, and I explain... that I was told that someone was having a heart attack... and I'm out of breath pointing at this f*cking AED, and the guy looks at me like I am some kind of an alien.

I bust out the ID that I took from the kid, and show it to him. The guy goes, "That's my son!" I explain that his son was pulled over doing 100 [mph] in a 45 [mph zone], and told the police that he was trying to get home because his father was having a heart attack.

The dad just stared at me blinking not knowing what to say. I took the ID from him, got on my radio, and told the co-worker that the father was having a nice night and there was not a medical emergency.

She Served Him Food The Day Before, So She Thought He Wouldn't Give Her A Ticket

From Redditor /u/Spielvor

Working for a small town where everyone knows everyone.

I see a car blow a stop sign at a high rate of speed without tapping their brakes or slowing down. I pull the car over and it's a woman that had served me lunch at our local diner earlier in the day. When I walk up I see her starting to "cry" until she recognizes me. Then magically the tears were instantly gone.

We make small chit-chat for a couple minutes and she tells me, "Thank God it's you who pulled me over or else I know I'd be getting a ticket," I laugh and ask for her ID as a formality.

I wasn't planning on giving her a citation until I saw her past record. In the previous three months she had been pulled over seven times and given five citations. They included everything from speeding (mostly over the 25 mph-posted limit) and running stop signs. Seeing this, I know she hasn't learned her lesson about safe driving and needs another reminder. So I write her.

I go back to her car and she starts screaming at me saying "I thought you were one of the cool cops." I tell her to have a nice night and to take a moment to calm down before she drives off. She tells me, "Screw you," and rolls up her window.

He Had To Poop

From Redditor /u/YoFavYellowGuy:

I once got caught speeding and told the cop how embarrassing it was, but I REALLY had to go #2 (which was true). He took my info and said with a little smile, "You can go; you'll receive the ticket by mail." It has been 6 months now and still nothing. Did he gracefully change his mind?