In an age where reality stars run the government and The New York Times hires Nazi sympathizers, mind-boggling news headlines become more and more like Mad Libs each day. Thanks to the 24-hour news cycle, insane news headlines in 2018 come at all hours; seeing a news headline about cosmetic surgery in camel shows at 11 PM makes you wonder if you're suffering from sleep deprivation. You're not – you're just trapped in the craziness of the 2018 news cycle, one that never sleeps and practically yells at you through iPhone banners.
Instead of reading up on Syria or your local politics, you find yourself distracted by headlines about Melania's body double or Sophia the Robot tweeting at Chrissy Tiegen. The craziest news headlines in February 2018 come alongside depressing stories of the latest mass shootings, showing that the news cycle has become just another way to shock and sadden you.
Nothing quite illustrates how screwed the world is like these outrageous 2018 news headlines. And these headlines only cover the stories that managed to get traction. Flint, MI, still has no clean water, thousands of Puerto Ricans remain without power, and the FCC's plan to dismantle net neutrality means learning about these issues will become much more difficult.
'Florida House Declares Porn A Public Health Risk Shortly After Denying Assault Rifle Ban'
A headline straight out of the sunshine state, the Florida House's decision to tackle adult material before gun policy shows its representatives consider access to nudity a greater danger than access to high-capacity firearms. It's particularly galling considering the timing – the vote occurred just days after the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School shooting, in which 17 people were killed and 14 were injured.
'Drugs, Alcohol, Suicide Killing More Americans Than Ever'
According to a report from the Trust for America’s Health and the Well Being Trust, more Americans than ever, especially citizens of color, are dying from drugs and suicide. With additionally high rates of maternal death, imprisonment, and mass shootings, "American excellence" reveals itself to be more a myth every passing day.
'Trump Raises Concerns About Impact Of Violent Movies: "Maybe They Have To Put A Rating System For That"'
President Trump held a meeting about school safety on February 22 in response to the horrific shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. The Commander in Chief thought he had a solution to violence in America, and it had nothing to do with gun control:
"We have to look at the internet, because a lot of bad things are happening to young kids and young minds, and their minds are being formed, and we have to do something about maybe what they're seeing and how they're seeing it. And also video games... I'm hearing more and more people say the level of violence on video games is really shaping young people's thoughts. And you go one further step and that's the movies... maybe they have to put a rating system for that."
Apparently the president is unaware of the rating systems that already exist for both video games and movies in the United States.
'A New Netflix Show Wants To Manipulate People Into Committing Murder'
Would you kill a person if someone forced you to? Would you watch this act of coercion played out on someone else? If you consider yourself a sadist, check out Netflix's latest reality series, The Push.