Graveyard Shift
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21 People Who Make House Calls Describe The Weirdest Things They've Ever Seen

Updated March 19, 2019 515.5k views21 items

People's houses hold all sorts of secrets. It's why hoarders are so fascinating— the idea that behind all these normal front doors we see every day are some true horror stories. According to the fine people of Reddit, hoarding is just one of some really weird things that go on at people's homes

People who do house calls really get to see these things. Those who come to sell, install, or move things get a glimpse of the most intimate parts of people's lives. It's not just cheating wives, creepy kids, and a whole lot of poop where poop should never be. Seeing into someone's home is a direct look at people's inner sanctum - and they've got an all-access pass to the madness. How can seemingly normal homes hide so much? From pet cemeteries to mannequins to maybe murderers, there's a lot going on behind closed doors. 

  • Halloween Nightmares

    Years ago I worked for a cable company and often got the sh*t jobs of doing disconnection and digital box pickups.

    I go to a decent apartment complex, knock on the door, and an elderly woman answers. Seems fine, so I step into the apartment, and find that she is a hoarder. There is a tiny walkway carved out of random boxes, clothing, and garage sale treasures. She tells me that the digital box is in the kitchen. I shuffle down a hallway towards the room she pointed at and pass a large opening that led into the living room. I glanced into the room and saw six-to-eight full-size mannequins hanging from the ceiling. They were all dressed in dark costumes, some with feather boas and others with Halloween masks.

    Now, we were not allowed to carry weapons with us besides our normal tools. My hand automatically goes to my razor blade and I start mentally prepping myself in case I have to cut this crazy b*tch in order to vacate this f*cked up nightmare. My other hand starts unscrewing the cable from the back of the box and this b*tch is just standing there, close proximity, staring at me. Upon my exit, I never turned my back towards her. You learn a lot about human nature when you walk into random homes. It's not all pretty, that's for sure.

  • The Baby Bottle

    I was a resident assistant at a university. The dorm across campus had some sort of transformer accident with PCB's being released in it, and required a full evacuation with the building having to be abandoned and cordoned so no one could go in. This meant all belongings we left behind.

    The cleaning crew involved some campus maintenance, and I had a part-time job there. During cleanup of a female resident director's apartment, we found a jack-sparrow-like treasure chest, full of dildos, strap-ons, lubricants, fake torsos, amyl nitrates, etc. Looking at the box full of penasia, I thought it was a bit excessive.

    Some of the crew that cleaned up the bed (which I did not see) reported this: The bed had under the covers a two-foot-long dildo with the head portion on a pillow, all tucked in, a diaper in the base, with a baby bottle full of a yellowish substance on the night table.

    I saw some of what they reported after they cleaned up and we all thought bottle looked like old collected cum.

  • An Axe Murderer In Training

    I used to be a delivery boy at an appliance store so this is just one of my stories.

    A coworker and I are delivering a washer and dryer to a really trashy trailer park and the guy is outside wearing only underwear and drinking a beer. We get the washer and dryer out of the truck and into his extremely tight doorways until we realize the laundry room doorway isn't big enough. Naked red neck grabs an axe and completely destroys the door way so the washer and drier would fit.

  • Just Ignore Dave

    I used to work for a company that did valuations on vehicles for insurance purposes. On occasion we would have to go to a client's house to see the car, take pics, etc.

    One afternoon two of us get sent out to this lady's house to collect information on her rare Mercedes convertible. When we arrive she invites us in and tells us that the car is in the garage. She is leading us through the house towards the garage and as we walk through a room there is a guy standing in the corner of the room wearing only a jock strap and he has a ball gag in his mouth. As if it is a normal situation she just says, 'That's Dave, never mind him. He won't bother you.'"