If you think the prison guards on Orange is the New Black see some crazy things, just wait until you read these true stories from real prison guards collected from a Reddit discussion. The hoosegow is a crazier place than TV lets on.
WARNING: Many of these stories are extremely disturbing and may include graphic depictions of violence and sexual assault.
"I had a woman recently who was so convinced she was innocent of driving without a license that she began scratching and biting her arms to draw blood so she could be seen by our crisis group so she'd have a chance at leaving to one of the mental faculties. She faked multiple seizures, asthma attacks, and rape claims all WHILE we were restraining her to prevent her from killing herself. Her voice eventually went out and she started sounding a lot like a demon from hell. That was just last week, though."
"I've known two unrelated inmates who got hold of their crime scene pictures as part of their legal proceeding. Their kick was to call unsuspecting staff to their cell door's window and flash them their dead victim pictures. One of them straight up told me he enjoyed seeing the horror in our eyes as we looked at their handiwork."
**WARNING: Disturbing Content**
"I worked at a county jail for two years, and most of the inmates were waiting to go to the penitentiary. One day, a guy entered my unit, and started bragging on how he raped a girl. Well, to find out, it was another inmate's younger sister. I remember hearing a yelling coming out of an inmate's cell during their activity time, so I called a code 4 (disturbance) and ran over to see what was going on. Inmate 1 (the rapist) was held down by three other inmates, and Inmate 2 (the victim's brother) had his arm all the way down to his elbow up the other guys ass.
"After we separated them, and Inmate 2 was moved to Administrative Segregation (solitary), I finally got a chance to ask why did he do that specifically. His response was, and I quote, "Man, that muthaf*cka was a mark b*tch. Like some Muppet ass nig**, so I gave the Muppets a new character."
"I will never forget what I saw that day..."
"This probably isn't my best story but it's my favorite. Inmate hadn't showered in weeks. She smelled terrible. She was in secured housing so her bunkie had been making complaints. After a certain amount of time, lack of hygiene is a disciplinary violation. She goes to confinement for a forced shower.
"I'm fairly new in the department at this time so of course I get the grunt work. I have to go to her locker, retrieve her property, and inventory it for storage. She refuses to give us the lock combination so we have to use the bolt cutters. Finally get it open and it's filthy. She has a bag of wet dirty clothes. I double glove up at this point. The clothes are mildewed. I take the bag of clothes out and find used maxi pads all over her property. At the time I was in complete shock but I couldn't show it. There were roaches coming out of the locker as I pulled more stuff out. Just filthy.
"I finally get to her paperwork. I was sure that the worst was behind me. Nope. The first folder is full of demonic horned figures. Pages and pages of them. Real grisly pictures. Decapitations, torture, and tons of blood. I thought that these figures were just scribbled in for color but after I looked closely, it was officers' names written hundreds of times within these characters. Each character was an officer. Each "dead" figure was a staff member that was no longer there. I've had inmates threaten to kill me, inmates tell me my address, my license plate number and where I'm from. Still to this day that creepy old woman is the creepiest thing I've ever dealt with."