Culture
10.4k voters

Dad Jokes So Bad They're Kind of Funny

Updated September 19, 2019 36.6k votes 10.4k voters 617.5k views33 items

Dad jokes are in and of themselves an art form. The first step is that they have to be bad. They can’t be too crass or “adult.” They have to also be the sort of thing that you should’ve seen coming, but somehow didn’t. And they’re all a little embarrassing to laugh at. But hey! Everyone else is probably groaning, laughing or both as well, so at least you’ve got that going for you? You can’t go wrong with a nice, healthy list of clean dad jokes to put in your repertoire when it’s time for you to embarrass your children.

From basic puns to tongue twisters, this list will have it all. Really, when you’re out to dinner (and you should make it a nice dinner, all the better to deploy a nice bad joke), wait until the server comes up to take your order, and then deliver one of these ridiculous short funny jokes. You will see the light go out of your server’s eyes, but then return in laughter, as your family really wonders if you should ever be brought to a nice restaurant ever again.

No matter your pleasure, these corny jokes will kill when expertly deployed. Try them on your offspring, and watch as they roll their eyes, then finally laugh, because it’s too stupid not to Vote up which dad jokes you think are the funniest, and then go ahead and check out the best "your mom" jokes as well.

Photo:
  • 1
    1,757
    867

    Man, when you have a bladder infection. . .

    Urine trouble.

  • 2
    1,901
    945

    What did the buffalo say when his son left?

    Bison!

  • 3
    1,887
    942

    How do you organize a space party?

    You planet! 

  • 4
    1,358
    674

    Today, a girl said she recognized me from Vegetarian Club. . .

    But I never met herbivore. 

  • 5
    922
    440

    Velcro?

    What a rip-off!

  • 6
    1,181
    582

    Why did the scarecrow win an award?

    Because he was outstanding in his field!

  • 7
    951
    462

    I gave all my dead batteries away. . .

    They were free of charge!

  • 8
    688
    321

    This documentary about beavers. . .

    . . . is the best dam thing I've ever watched!

  • 9
    778
    376

    Our wedding was so beautiful. . .

    Even the cake was in tiers. 

  • 10
    612
    291

    Why do you smear peanut butter on the road?

    To go with the traffic jam!

  • 11
    949
    482

    Why did the octopus beat a shark in a fight?

    Well, he was well armed!

  • 12
    783
    390

    I was thinking about moving to Moscow...

    But there's no point in Russian into things. 

  • 13
    663
    324

    I'm afraid for the calendar. . .

    Its days are numbered.

  • 14
    934
    482

    You hear about the new broom?

    It's sweeping the nation!

  • 15
    736
    388

    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    . . . Ground beef.

  • 16
    725
    383

    Why move to Switzerland?

    Well, the flag is a big plus!

  • 17
    499
    254

    A sandwich walks into a bar. . .

    Bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve food here." 

  • 18
    433
    223

    I am terrified of elevators!

    I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them!

  • 19
    681
    383

    Hear about the new restaurant on the Moon?

    The food was great, but there was just no atmosphere. 

  • 20
    491
    268

    Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

    It didn't have any guts!

  • 21
    487
    274

    My doctor said I had type A blood. . .

    But it was a type O.

  • 22
    841
    508

    The Energizer Bunny just got arrested. . .

    . . . They charged him with battery.

  • 23
    357
    195

    What cheese can never be yours?

    . . . Nacho cheese!

     

     

  • 24
    392
    222

    Why did the pony need a glass of water?

    . . . He was a little horse!

     

  • 25
    325
    205

    "Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?"

    "No, I got them all cut."