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Dark 'Full House' Fan Theories That Will Change How You Think About The Show

Updated October 11, 2018 22.7k votes 5k voters 334.4k views11 items

List RulesVote up the darkest theories that you'll never be able to unsee.

If you have a semblance of a childhood left, prepare to have it shattered. ABC's TGIF lineup was fraught with controversy, most of which stemmed from the actors themselves, but what if you found out that the beloved series Full House was seriously demented? Fan theories about Full House reveal a messed up family dynamic, one where the San Francisco home might actually be a Lovecraftian horrorscape. 

We already know Full House was a side gig for one of the raunchiest comedians of all time (Bob Saget, you're fooling no one). Even so, the show is often regarded as one of the best sitcoms of the '80s and '90s. It even went on to spawn a weirdly meta Netflix reboot 20 years after the fact, and reruns are still regularly played on TBS and the Hallmark Channel.

Full House was revered for its life lessons, and provided a prototype for sitcoms featuring strong friendships among adult males, but a particular Full House fan theory shatters all that in one fell swoop. If you're hoping to have Full House ruined forever, you got it, dude. These dark Full House fan theories show no mercy.

  • 5

    Danny And Jesse Are Lovers

    Photo: ABC

    This conspiracy theory starts way before the show aired its first episode. It alleges that Danny and Jesse are lovers, and that Danny married Jesse's sister to cover it up. The reasoning behind hiding their love was that it might hurt Danny's broadcasting career (the '90s were not very progressive, in retrospect). It was better for his image to be a father and a husband, an all-American piece of straight white bread. 

    The theory alleges that Pam was in on the ruse. She actually had a relationship with Joey, who fathered the three Tanner girls (it's pretty suspicious that Joey and the Tanner girls are all blonde, while Danny is a dark brunette). This is also why Joey never has a steady girlfriend; he already found the love of his life. Danny later convinces his co-star to pretend to date Jesse as his music career takes off.   

    Does this change everything?
  • 6

    Jesse's Original Last Name Was Just A Stage Name

    Photo: ABC

    You can't deny that Jesse Cochran is a catchier name than Jesse Katsopolis. One theory alleges that the name change was a calculated business move; Jesse goes by both names because one of them is a stage name.

    In the first season, Danny mentions Jesse's band, Jesse Cochran and the Rippers. It's later referred to as Jesse and the Rippers, so many fans may have missed it. The theory alleges that Jesse changed his name because he didn't think his real name was marketable enough. This is actually a common practice in the music industry; Beatles drummer Ringo Starr's real name is actually Richard Starky. Sometimes, a stage name just works better. 

    Does this change everything?
  • 7

    'Fuller House' Is 'The Truman Show' Version of 'Full House'

    Photo: Netflix

    Fuller House, Netfix's Full House spinoff/reboot, gets pretty meta. While sitcoms tend to break the fourth wall or poke fun at the tropes they use, few do so with such ferocity. According to a fan theory, this is because Fuller House is basically The Truman Show.

    The evidence starts with Uncle Jesse, who's played by John Stamos. Uncle Jesse mentions his work on General Hospital, and real-life Stamos was a series regular. The gang also references the Olsen twins' booming fashion empire (which doesn't exist in the Full House world, but definitely does in real life). A few minutes later, Uncle Jesse remarks that all of them "still look good." Uhm, why would he be poking fun at the original series if he was actually Uncle Jesse and not just an actor hired to play Uncle Jesse decades after his original performance? That's all from the first episode.

    Does this change everything?
  • 8

    The Inconsistencies In 'Full House' Are Because Of Time Travel

    Photo: ABC

    There are plenty of inconsistencies in Full House. Jesse's last name changes, and he's said to have both finished high school and dropped out. Additionally, cousin Steve is definitely not D.J.'s cousin, since her father has a single, childless sister. One fan theory from Redditor /u/Mutaterhuag suggests that these inconsistencies occur because time travelers have messed with the fabric of the universe to inadvertently create changes in the Full House timeline.

    The theory checks out in a couple of ways. Steve Urkel makes an appearance on Full House, which means Family Matters exists in the same universe. Along with Urkel comes a litany of his ridiculous sci-fi inventions, including the time machine he invents in the Season 8 episode "Father Time." The theory also suggests that Joey's identical "cousin" Stavros is either a future, time-traveling version of Jesse, or a parallel Jesse from an alternate timeline.

    Does this change everything?