Do you trust Taylor Swift? Do you think she's an alright, fine, perfectly well-balanced human being? Most people stand on two sides of the spectrum of this question: either she's crazy or she's classy. Those on the "crazy" side of things have their suspicions, while those on the "classy" side tend to turn a blind eye when Swift comes under attack. Regardless of which "Squad" you find yourself standing with, you must admit your fascination and infatuation with Swift is simultaneously mesmerizing and bewildering.
Why? Because Taylor Swift has somehow managed to make us feel as though we know everything and nothing about her at the same time - the everything being what she wants us to see and the nothing being the dark side of her persona. Don't be fooled. Everyone has a dark side, even Taylor Swift. The bubble gum pop, everything-is-romantic singer is a far cry from the preteen role model she makes herself out to be. In fact, for all the stories of Taylor Swift surprising her fans and being oh-so-sweet, there are just as many dark Taylor Swift stories lurking in the shadows of the Internet.
Since the release of her massively successful album 1989, Swift has been in seemingly every possible corner of the media landscape. And while this would seemingly be every Hollywood starlet's dream, it appears as though we have reached peak Taylor Swift. Many fans are starting to see a more calculated side to Swift, one more deeply interwoven with the machine behind Taylor Swift as a product or brand. And since fans and haters alike have reached this realization - that the Taylor Swift they see is not necessarily the true Taylor Swift - dark stories have been seeping through the cracks of the singer's formerly picture-perfect image.
So who is Taylor Swift really? Frankly, we may never know. But these dark stories about the singer may just change the way you look at her.
Taylor Eats Etsy for Breakfast
Cease and desist, bitch. That's exactly what Taylor Swift's lawyers dropped into Etsy entrepreneurs' handmade, 1989-inspired, wicker baskets after the singer caught wind that fans were selling unauthorized merch behind her back. Taylor left her dedicated Swiftys with a sour taste in their mouths after cease and desist letters popped up in their mail, asking them to put an end to selling anything Taylor Swift-related on Etsy. The money hungry move alienated her DIY-artist fan base, but Swift hardly cared once her 1989 online store started getting its traffic back.
One fan was quoted as saying, "She kind of deflated my little T-Swift love balloon that I had — I love to see women succeed and give no fucks. Her carefree branding is important representation — but the crackdown on Etsy sellers made it too easy to see how the sausage was made." And all this over a $12, cross stitch with some "Shake It Off" lyrics on it.
Taylor Swift - A Nazi Icon?
What do Taylor Swift and Nazis have in common? To most, not much. To Nazis, just about everything. When it comes to the Aryan beauties they admire most, modern neo-Nazis seem to take a liking to Taylor the best. According to white supremacist blogger Andre Anglin, Taylor Swift is a secret Nazi in disguise, just waiting for her chance to unveil her aspirations for a fascist regime.
"Firstly, Taylor Swift is a pure Aryan goddess, like something out of classical Greek poetry. Athena reborn. That's the most important thing," Anglin said. "It is also an established fact that Taylor Swift is secretly a Nazi and is simply waiting for the time when Donald Trump makes it safe for her to come out and announce her Aryan agenda to the world. Probably, she will be betrothed to Trump's son, and they will be crowned American royalty."
I know, wild. Is it true? Probably not. But it does make you wonder what someone like Taylor Swift must have done to garner the appraisal of an entire hate group.
Either She Has a Dark Satanic Twin or She's an Immortal Satanist in Disguise
Is Taylor Swift a secret satanist? Or does she have some dark doppelgänger we don't know about? Who's to know for sure. But here's why she's a satanic clone:
When Internet sleuths discovered an uncanny resemblance between Swift and former high priestess of the Church of Satan, Zeena Schreck (pictured), people naturally went ape. These intense physical similarities have understandably fueled countless questions and inquiries into a possible relationship between Schreck and Swift. Deep dive theories, which include more extensive connections between them, have led Internet detectives to the conclusion that Swift must be Schreck's clone. Clues in Swift's lyrics and odd similarities between Schreck's past and Swift's present (Schreck was high priestess in 1989, Swift was born in 1989) have offered little to extinguish this riveting and oddly convincing theory. And do we even need to remind you that Swift is already confirmed (alleged) Illuminati (just Google it!)?
For more of this fascinating rabbit hole, here is a lengthy and in depth look at Swift's secret, incubated past.
She Also Has an Evil Japanese McDonald's Twin
Who's to say that the Schrek clone is the only evil Swift out there? In fact, fans and conspiracy theorists alike discovered yet another possible Swift clone in Japan, posing as a female Ronald McDonald. Now, I know there are supposedly seven people in the world who look just like you.
But do you really expect me to believe that we have found not one, but TWO Swift twins in this short timeline? Seems fishy if you ask me - let alone a clone dressed as the very unsettling Ronald.