Photo: 20th Century Fox
Movie Quotes

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul Movie Quotes 

Movie and TV Quotes
May 21, 2017 161 votes 59 voters 1.9k views

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul movie quotes bring the laughs to the movie about a family on an adventurous road trip. The family comedy is the fourth in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid franchise based on the books by Jeff Kinney. Kinney co-wrote the screenplay along with David Bowers and Adam Sztykiel. Directed by David Bowers, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul opened theatrically in the United States on May 19, 2017.

In Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul, Greg Heffley (Jason Drucker) is your typical kid who complains about typical kid things, such as having little control over his life. Along with brother Rodrick (Charlie Wright), Greg convinces parents Susan and Frank (Alicia Silverstone and Tom Everett Scott respectively) to go on a family road trip to Indiana.

While the guise of the road trip is to attend the boys' grandmother's 90th birthday party, really they want to attend a video game expo happening nearby. As easy as this may sound, surviving the road trip adventures and actually getting to the gamer expo is much harder than the brothers anticipated.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul opened alongside other May 2017 movies such as Alien: Covenant, Paris Can Wait, The Wall, and Lowriders.  

1
Zero Control Over Your Own Life
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Greg: If there's one thing I've learned from my years as a being kid, it's that you have zero control over your own life. 

Greg speaks to the camera in this Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul movie quote to discuss life as a kid. He talks about having zero control of his life, something he's like to be different.

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2
That's a Mini Safe
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Roderick: I got a microwave pizza. 
Frank: Roderick, that's a mini safe.
Roderick: They disguised it as a microwave. 

The family is stunned when Roderick mistakes the hotel safe for a microwave. Even after they correct him, he doesn't seem to understand.

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3
Oh, Look How Cute
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Susan: Oh, look how cute! The pig's better potty trained than you, Greg.

After the youngest Heffley brother wins a pig at a fair, Susan is pleased to learn it's potty trained. The feeling, however, changes fast when the smell of the piglet's dump spreads through the car.

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4
An Unplugged Road Trip
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Susan: This is an unplugged road trip. No Instagrammy! No SnappyChat! 

Susan gives the boys the worst news ever as they embark on their road trip. She might not know the names of the social networks they use, but she's declaring this trip device free. 

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