Humor Dirty Adult Jokes That Will Get You a Laugh on Demand  

Evan Lambert
92k votes 19.5k voters 849.5k views 38 items

List Rules Vote up the funniest jokes!

Looking for a quick and dirty joke to get you an easy laugh? Then these funny adult jokes are for you. We've compiled the funniest jokes about sex that you'll ever come across, so that you can go and tell your friends - hopefully without offending them. Vote on your favorite funny adult joke!

1 3,389 VOTES

Two Italian men get on a bus.


They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
 

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."


 "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"


 "Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

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2 8,573 VOTES

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common?


The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
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3 4,370 VOTES

What's the difference between your wife and your job?


After five years, your job will still suck. 
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4 4,027 VOTES

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall...


The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

"Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

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