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Dirty Grandpa Movie Quotes

Updated November 6, 2017 153 votes 82 voters 16.1k views10 items

Dirty Grandpa movie quotes follow one raunchy grandfather and his strait-laced grandson who take a road trip to Florida. The comedy film was written by John M. Philips and directed by Dan Mazer. Dirty Grandpa opened in theaters on January 22, 2016.

In Dirty Grandpa, after the funeral for his wife, Dick (Robert De Niro) insists on traveling to Florida, the place he and his late wife spent their time annually at this time of year. He needs a ride to get there so he enlists his conservative grandson Jason (Zac Efron). While Jason and his fiancé, Meredith (Julianne Hough), do not really agree with this idea, especially since Jason's wedding is in just a few days, he goes along with it.

So, driving a tiny pink car, Dick and Jason set off to Florida. Along the way, they meet a number of characters including college co-ed Lenore (Aubrey Plaza) and the possibly insane Tan Pam (Jason Mantzoukas). And while Dick is loving the spring break atmosphere, he also tries to get Jason to break out of his shell and live a little before he marries what might be, in Dick's opinion, the wrong woman.

Dirty Grandpa joined theaters in early 2016 which were already showing other great films including The Revenant, Ride Along 2, 13 Hours The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi, and Norm of the North.
  • Photo: flickr / CC0

    Like a Social Security Check

    Lenore: I want you to tear open my bra like it's a social security check. Now fumble around and pretend like you're trying to find your glasses.
    Dick: I found them! I can see!

    Judging by her dirty talk involving social security checks and losing one's glasses, it seems Lenore has a thing for older men. Being the older man in that equation and deep in her breasts, Dick is okay with all of this.
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 2

    Most Grandpas Just Want Toffee or Socks

    Dick: The greatest gift a grandson can give his grandfather is a hot college girl who wants to have unprotected sex with her before he dies.
    Jason: Most grandpas just want toffee or socks.

    Jason knows his grandpa is a little different from most, like the others who are interested in toffee and socks. The fact that Dick is thanking Jason for offering him a college girl for casual sex proves this fact entirely.
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • 3

    That Never Usually Happens

    Video: YouTube

    Dick: Whoops! That never usually happens.
    Lenore: Really? It happens to me all the time.

    After prematurely squirting sunscreen all over Lenore's chest, Dick apologizes. Lenore, however, is unfazed, and notes that this happens to her often.
    Should this be higher or lower?
  • Photo: Wikimedia Commons / CC-BY

    I Smoked Crack?

    Tan Pam: This is crack!
    Jason: I smoked crack?
    Tan Pam: Yeah, but just, like, a lot.
    Jason: I just smoked crack!

    For the straight-laced Jason, smoking crack is not something he normally does, nor would ever consider doing. After trying it, however, he seems pretty happy with his decision.
    Should this be higher or lower?