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Dirty Grandpa Movie Quotes

Updated November 6, 2017 153 votes 82 voters 16.1k views10 items

Dirty Grandpa movie quotes follow one raunchy grandfather and his strait-laced grandson who take a road trip to Florida. The comedy film was written by John M. Philips and directed by Dan Mazer. Dirty Grandpa opened in theaters on January 22, 2016.

In Dirty Grandpa, after the funeral for his wife, Dick (Robert De Niro) insists on traveling to Florida, the place he and his late wife spent their time annually at this time of year. He needs a ride to get there so he enlists his conservative grandson Jason (Zac Efron). While Jason and his fiancé, Meredith (Julianne Hough), do not really agree with this idea, especially since Jason's wedding is in just a few days, he goes along with it.

So, driving a tiny pink car, Dick and Jason set off to Florida. Along the way, they meet a number of characters including college co-ed Lenore (Aubrey Plaza) and the possibly insane Tan Pam (Jason Mantzoukas). And while Dick is loving the spring break atmosphere, he also tries to get Jason to break out of his shell and live a little before he marries what might be, in Dick's opinion, the wrong woman.

Dirty Grandpa joined theaters in early 2016 which were already showing other great films including The Revenant, Ride Along 2, 13 Hours The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi, and Norm of the North.
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  • 5

    Did You Just Get Naked?

    Video: YouTube

    Dick: You don't even know how much I appreciate you doing this for me.
    Jason: Did you just get naked?
    Dick: Yeah, it's the best way to sleep.
    Jason: Oh my god!

    Nothing says, 'I appreciate you taking me to spring break, grandson' like getting naked before going to bed. Jason does not quite see things the same way.
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  • 6

    Why You Have to Drive Down to Florida

    Video: YouTube

    David: I don't understand why you have to drive down to Florida. We just had the funeral.
    Dick: Grandmother and I were there at this time every year.
    ...
    Meredith: It just seems like we're cutting it a little close with the rehearsal brunch on Friday. I'm just freaking out.
    Jason: I know.
    Meredith: Can you take my car, sweetie? I need the SUV for the wine.
    ...
    Dick: Now let's get in that giant labia you drove up in and get out of here.

    Shortly after the funeral of his wife, Dick insists on traveling to Florida with his grandson Jason driving him there. No one can understand why Dick wants to go to Florida, especially just a short few days from Jason's wedding to Meredith.
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  • 7

    See You at the Crossroads, Grandma

    Jason: What's up, Nick?
    Nick: It sucks about grandma, huh?
    Jason: Yeah
    Nick: Murdered like that
    Jason: Nick, she had cancer.
    Nick: We'll never know the truth.
    Jason: We absolutely know the truth. Grandma had cancer for 10 years. Tone it down, Nick.
    Nick: I'll see you at the crossroads, Grandma.
    Jason: What are you doing? Are you kidding me right now? My dad and my fiancé are standing right next to us.
    Nick: Beyonce's here?
    Jason: No. What is that? Are you high right now?
    Nick: No! This isn't high. It's an e-cigarette. It's filled with a little weed but it's an e-cigarette.
    Jason: Grow up, man. What are you doing?
    Nick: Grow up? How adult are you? What, do you listen to NPR in your Volvo?
    Jason: No
    Nick: You play racquetball competitively against your business associates?
    Jason: No
    Nick: Ever go away to a rented house with other couples and then play Scattergories over a bottle of white wine?
    Meredith: Jason!

    We all deal with death differently. Some, like Jason, show up to a funeral to pay respects. Others, like Nick, attend that same funeral with conspiracy theories, beer and weed. To each his own.
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  • 8

    We're Headed to Daytona

    Video: YouTube

    Lenore: Hey! We're headed to Daytona. So you guys want to tag along for a little bit, baby? Party some babies into us?
    ...
    Jason: We're not going to Daytona. Grandpa, are you kidding me right now? Grandma's funeral was yesterday.
    Dick: She told me on her deathbed, 'you get back out there again.'

    On the way to Florida, Dick and Jason run into some college girls looking to have a good time. While Jason remains annoyed by his dirty grandpa, Dick is very interested in these young ladies.
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