internet 11 Things You Should Never Ever Google Search: Disney Edition  

Brian Gilmore
1.2k votes 653 voters 195.1k views 11 items Embed

List Rules Vote up the things that either ruin your childhood or make you wish brain bleach were real.

Nothing brings out horrible things quite like diving deep into what you shouldn't Google as it pertains to anything Disney-related. The good news is that any amount of research into Walt Disney being either an anti-semite or a sexist pig will show you that he was actually neither of those things. There's one case of a woman being denied employment at Disney for being a woman, but a few years later, Disney actually became a pioneer for gender equality in the workplace (given that it was wartime and the possibility of women having to take over animation duties was very real, due to men getting drafted).

However, the same doesn't quite go for all of the Disney properties. A number of depraved, disgusting, weird, fringe, and ultimately tragic fan creations, cultures, and stories have come from canonical Disney movies. Possibly the purest, most family-friendly films in entertainment history have led people to indulge in some of the craziest things you will ever see on the Internet. 

From furries to dating sites to extremely specific fetishes, the list of Disney things you shouldn't Google (along with all the creepy Disneyland stories that come with them) could go on forever. But this selection of the darkest Disney fandoms is a clear, concise, and carefully-curated summary of the horrors you can face on Google if you just dare to look. Check out the list below and vote up the Disney things you should never type into that search bar.  

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Dirty Disney Confessions


Dirty Disney Confessions is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list 11 Things You Should Never Ever Google Search: Disney Edition
Photo: jared422_80/flickr/CC-BY 2.0

If the Disney Memorial Orgy wasn't enough, then Dirty Disney Confessions should just about do it (no pun). It should be no surprise that Disney has inspired multiple generations of furries to love animated creatures in the way that only they know how: by meeting discreetly in the biggest hotel orgy during an Anime-Expo/Comic-Con/D23 and spending the night sweating in overpriced walkabout costumes. 

When they're not busy doing that, they're busy creating online hubs like Dirty Disney Confessions. Be warned: if you click on this, you can't unsee it. DDC is a tumblr that features various "confessions" written as short-form erotica next to screencaps of Disney characters they want to get down and "dirty" with. The tumblr goes on to feature a smattering of characters being ravaged in the bedroom, and sometimes, it's them that's doing the ravaging. You'll never see Disney characters in the same way again. 

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The Disneyland Memorial Orgy


The Disneyland Memorial Orgy is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list 11 Things You Should Never Ever Google Search: Disney Edition
Photo: Tom Simpson/flickr/CC-BY-NC-ND 2.0

Okay, so this one ought to ruin your childhood: it's called the Disneyland Memorial Orgy (that is a link to the illustration which you probably shouldn't open at work). The illustration originated in a groundbreaking, subversive, and well-liked political/social satire magazine called The Realist, which was edited and published by Paul Krassner. It started in 1958 and discontinued publication in 2001. 

Krassner described how Disney reacted to seeing this poster: "The Disney corporation considered a lawsuit, but realized that The Realist was published on a proverbial shoestring, and besides, why bother causing themselves further public embarrassment?"

This was such a subversive act on the part of The Realist that individual acts of censorship snuck through the cracks as some Baltimore newspapers distributed the issue of the magazine with the DMO removed. Krassner secured some missing pages and offered to send them to any reader who'd ended up buying only a partial magazine. The San Francisco Bay Area did its part when an anonymous group printed sections of the DMO and distributed it in churches and around town. 

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Original Disneyland Costumes


Ranker Video
Video: YouTube

Something you can't really unsee is how disturbing the opening day Disneyland walkabout character costumes were. Most people know that in general, vintage costumes walk the weird line between straight up serial killer masks and a kind of uncanny valley that make the costumes not just eerie, but somehow biologically reprehensible. 

You can't really see it in the thumbnail, but the footage near the end of the video shows the original Mickey and Minnie Mouse costumes. They had these horrible holes on the undersides of their face, reminiscent of the open sores on Freddy Kruger's face. It's some kind of trypophobic trigger, but they really look like their faces were ripped open and then healed horribly. 

If you really want to be scarred, here's a whole gallery of terrifying walkabout costumes from the early days of Disneyland. The soul-less eyes in the looks of the Mickey and Minnie Mouse costumes that replaced the Freddy Kruger ones are almost as haunting as the originals. 

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Ariel Feet


Ariel Feet is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list 11 Things You Should Never Ever Google Search: Disney Edition
Photo: Disney Animation Studios

It's time to acknowledge the foot fetishists. They are everywhere and they run in packs. In this particular case, in the same way that the 1973 Robin Hood inspired a generation of furries, Ariel from The Little Mermaid apparently inspired an entire generation of foot fetishists. Maybe it wa something about an intentional naked human woman in a Disney film, or maybe it was the nudity, coupled with her fascination of her legs and feet. Either way, it struck a chord in the foot fetishist community. 

When you Google "Ariel feet," the vast majority of the first page is filled with celebrations of the moment where Ariel from The Little Mermaid discovers her feet for the first time. Here's an example of this terrible Google search result: a video of Ariel wiggling her toes, making the four-second sequence a 55-second feature film by rewinding the moment and putting it on repeat about five times. The video's description ends with "Enjoy Everybody :D."