A Ranking of Disney Villains, Based on How Stupid Their Plans Are

Gaston is totally self-absorbed and arrogant, but he's one of the few Disney villains who don't crave power. In fact, all Gaston wants is to marry Belle. When she turns him down, his bruised ego never recovers. To prove himself as the ultimate specimen of masculinity to both Belle and the townspeople, he decides to slay the Beast after realizing that Belle prefers the "monster" over him. 

Gaston's plan has a few pitfalls, starting with his basic intentions. He only wants to marry Belle because she's beautiful. Nevermind that he doesn't know anything about her interests or care about her thoughts. He simply knows that she's pretty, leading to a very stalker-like obsession in which he follows her around and tries to talk her into marrying him. He has plenty of lovestruck potential love interests, but he's convinced that he needs the prettiest woman in town because he is the most handsome man. That's his first mistake. 

Much like Gaston's marriage proposal, his plan to slay the Beast is impulsive and ill-informed. The Beast is more animal than man, with plenty of strength and aggression of his own. Gaston heads into the castle blindly, with little knowledge of his opponent. He relies on his own arrogance and inflated sense of confidence, leading him to taunt the Beast and relish his supposed victory. His pride is ultimately his downfall, as his delay in terminating the Beast gives Belle an opportunity to return. When Beast sees Belle, it's all the encouragement he needs to fight back, ultimately leading to Gaston's fall from the castle.

When it comes to Disney villains' evil plans, Cruella de Vil's senseless scheme stands apart from the rest. To put it simply, she wants to kidnap puppies and use their fur to create a dog-skin jacket. It's really quite dark. But beyond her irrational need for violence, the entirety of Cruella's plan is a little absurd. 

First of all, why does Cruella need 99 puppies to make her jacket? How large is this jacket going to be? Ninety-nine puppies means a lot of fur. In fact, it would likely be a surplus of fur, creating a heavy, overly bulky jacket that's not fashionable, or even cute in the slightest. 

Second, why can't Cruella simply purchase a faux-fur jacket? Creating a custom jacket out of puppy skin requires a deeply gruesome and barbaric process. Not to mention, it's also much more work to design and produce your own jacket, rather than purchasing a pre-made jacket from the store. By heading out for a day of shopping, Cruella easily avoids the legal and ethical problems that accompany snatching puppies for a jacket. A little retail therapy might do this villain some good. 

But finally, Cruella falls victim to her own obsessions and terrible choice in henchmen, like so many Disney villains. Her single-mindedness in her task and the inablity to carry out her own plans eventually leads to the ultimate failure of her master plan. 

All in all, Cruella's plan is illogical, impractical, and needlessly brutal.

When discussing the evil plans of Disney villains, the Queen from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs deserves special recognition for extreme pettiness. The Queen wants to bring an end to Snow White simply because a mirror said Snow White was prettier. 

While the Queen's reasoning behind terminating Snow White is ridiculous, her plan is just as flawed. She instructs a huntsman to carry out the deed, despite the fact that Snow White enchants everyone who meets her. Given her charming nature, the huntsman is unable to off Snow White. It's a classic case of "if you want something done right, do it yourself," but the Queen can't even carry out her own task. 

When she realizes that the huntsman has failed her, the Queen disguises herself as a beggar woman and persuades Snow White to eat a poisoned apple. However, the apple only puts Snow White into a deep sleep. Why didn't she enchant the apple with a spell that was immediately lethal, instead of a sleeping spell? Furthermore, the spell even has a cure: love's first kiss.

For a Queen who is so desperate to rid the world of someone prettier than her, she manages to fail spectacularly. A note for evil villains everywhere: Don't create a loophole when you're trying to end someone's life.

Lady Tremaine is the OG wicked stepmother. In fact, as the primary villain in Cinderella, she defined the category of evil replacement parents. While her cruelty and general lack of emotion toward her stepdaughter establish her as a villain to fear, her actual plan leaves a lot to be desired.

Lady Tremaine is jealous of Cinderella's charm and beauty. Afraid that Cinderella will outshine her own daughters, Lady Tremaine forces her stepdaughter to serve the family, keeping her locked away in terrible conditions and refusing to allow her to leave the house.

Lady Tremaine's cruelty culminates at the end of the movie. When the Grand Duke arrives at Cinderella's house to find the Prince's mystery ballroom guest, Lady Tremaine puts two and two together and realizes that Cinderella was the beauty from the ball. To keep her from being discovered by the Grand Duke, Lady Tremaine locks Cinderella in her room. When her stepdaughter escapes, Lady Tremaine remains vehemently committed to her plan to ruin Cinderella’s life, even going so far as to trip the Grand Duke, causing the glass slipper to break. 

Obviously, Lady Tremaine is guided by jealousy. She doesn't want her stepdaughter to become a princess, especially over her own two daughters. But what was the overall goal here? Did Lady Tremaine expect the Grand Duke to settle for one of her daughters simply because he couldn't find the correct maiden? The man searched the entire kingdom to find the Prince's love - there's no way he was deviating from his plan for two obnoxious, overly eager girls.

In addition, did Lady Tremaine plan to keep Cinderella locked away forever? Technically, she's an adult. If she wanted to marry the Prince, she could simply go to the castle with her own slipper and prove herself to be the girl from the ball. Plus, having Cinderella out of the house would rid the family of another mouth to feed. It may be difficult to swallow that her stepdaughter became a princess, but considering how much Lady Tremaine hates Cinderella, it would have made more sense to simply send her away.

Prince or no, keeping Cinderella trapped in the house doesn't serve much purpose beyond having a built-in maid.  

In comparison to the evil plans of other Disney villains, Captain Hook's scheme actually makes a lot of sense. In truth, Peter Pan might be more of a miscreant than the fallible Captain Hook. Hook's quarrel with Pan stems from a fraught history between the two characters, culminating in Pan cutting off Hook's hand. Hook wants revenge on Pan for the loss of his limb, which by Disney standards, seems pretty fair. 

Hook's approach to confronting Pan has some merit. He captures Princess Tiger Lily, hoping that she'll disclose the location of Pan's hideout. He also smartly recognizes Tinker Bell's jealousy of Wendy and uses her envious emotions to trick her into giving away the location of Pan's hideout. He also successfully captures the Lost Boys and the Darling children, but fails to end Pan due to Tinker Bell's intervention. 

As twisted as it may sound, Hook's problem is that he isn't ruthless enough. His plans involve a sense of cold-blooded aggression to breed success, but Hook never moves fast enough to reach the more brutal elements of his schemes. He captures Tiger Lily, but fails to interrogate her effectively before she's saved by Pan. He tricks Tinker Bell, but doesn't dispose of her properly, ultimately leaving her free to save Pan from a disastrous demise. As much as Hook talks a big game, he tends to dawdle when it comes to carrying out his plans. Like many villains, he leaves just enough time for his hostages to be saved, ruining his ability to actually accomplish his goals. 

Perhaps Hook doesn't have the stomach to dispose of his enemies in an effective way. If he embraced a more ruthless nature, he might be a successful villain. In his current state, however, he's quite the laughable crook.

Mother Gothel is the villain of Disney's Tangled. As far as Disney villains' evil plans go, Gothel's is more successful than most. After finding a magical flower that grants her eternal youth, Gothel is desperate to maintain her young facade. After the ailing Queen consumes the flower in an effort to heal her illness, the recovered royal gives birth to a baby girl with magical hair. Gothel originally tries to take a lock of the princess' hair, only to learn that cutting the hair takes away its magical properties. In a moment of desperation, Gothel kidnaps the baby and whisks her away to a secluded tower, where she raises her for 18 years. 

Gothel's plan is fairly foolproof. That is, if you disregard the fact that a malleable child eventually grows into an adult who isn't going to be content sitting in a tower day in and day out. Gothel's plan centers around desperation rather than actual scheming. She doesn't consider what her life will look like years down the line. She acts on the instinct of a single moment, and fails to plan for a lifelong commitment to another human being. She gets her eternal fountain of youth, but she also has to take care of a child - one she doesn't really want or care for at all. 

As Rapunzel grows older, Gothel becomes increasingly lazy in her routine. She trusts Rapunzel to stay locked in the tower, despite Rapunzel's many claims that she's unhappy and wants to venture outside. Desperate as she is to maintain her youthful appearance, she's unwilling to submit herself to the same life as Rapunzel. Gothel ventures out of the tower often, many times leaving for days at a time. What captive wouldn't attempt to escape in that situation?

While Gothel shows a certain amount of skill, particularly in manipulation, her selfishness is her ultimate downfall. She puts too much trust in her daughter/prisoner, creating the perfect situation for Rapunzel to escape and experience the world. Gothel's need for youth overrides her logic, leading to her eventual demise.