'Dragonball Evolution' Might Be The Worst Anime Adaptation Ever Made

Even if you've never seen Dragon Ball anything, you still probably know something about Goku's signature attack, Kamehameha: it's a literal beam of concentrated energy. It also has nothing to do with air-bending, a technique taken straight out of Avatar: The Last Airbender, but for some reason, Master Roshi decides to explain Kamehameha by comparing the two. What's even more baffling is that at one point Goku is revived by the attack, despite it having no healing properties whatsoever. 

One of Goku's defining characteristics is his lack of education. While he isn't stupid, he can be quite naive about subjects that don't pertain to fighting. He definitely doesn't have a well-rounded public school education, so why did Dragonball Evolution decide to make Goku attend stereotypical suburban high school? There seems to be no good explanation other than sheer laziness, and fans of the original Dragon Ball agree. One angry fan posted on Gamespot, saying, "HE'S [Goku] NOT AN ANGST-RIDDEN AMERICAN CHILD! ...Just needed to get that off my chest. Fox turned it into a typical High School underdog film."

If you're looking for a movie with good dialogue, this is not it. Dragonball Evolution features groan-inducing clichés like "Now the signs have appeared again, the evil has returned. Only one chosen warrior has the power to defeat this threat," and "The first rule is... there are no rules."

The script also takes every possible opportunity to make bad puns about the fact they're trying to collect items called Dragon Balls. Yamcha yelling "Ow, my balls!" is neither funny nor creative, but it may be the closest thing to humor this terrible film has to offer.

While it's not necessary to include every character from the Dragon Ball universe, Krillin's absence is particularly jarring. Krillin is an integral part of Goku's childhood – the two are practically inseparable throughout Dragon Ball – and their friendship continues long into adulthood.

So where is he? Why wasn't he included in the story of Dragonball Evolution? Is it too difficult to find an actor who's short and bald? Why not take an easy opportunity to deepen the protagonist by giving him a friend? Many fans of the original series found themselves asking these questions upon Evolution's 2009 release.

Dragonball Evolution is widely disliked by fans, but what does the original creator of the Dragon Ball universe, Akira Toriyama, think? 

Apparently, Toriyama doesn't much care for it, either. In an interview with Asahi Shimbun Digital about the movie, he made the following bold statement:

At the time of the Hollywood movie, the live-action Dragon Ball, the script had too little of a grasp on the world and its characteristics, and on top of that, it had a conventional content that I couldn’t find interesting, so I cautioned them, and suggested changes; but in spite of that, they seemed to have a strange confidence, and didn’t really listen to me. What came out in the end was a movie I couldn’t really call a Dragon Ball that lived up to my expectations.

That being the case, there were parts where I wanted to show some spine, with a world and story only the creator could draw.

Ben Ramsey, the writer behind Dragonball Evolution, was well aware what he created was an insult to the original series. Unlike many creators who unleash awful remakes, Ramsey actually had the integrity to offer an apology to Dragon Ball fans. In an interview with Derek Padula, Ramsey made the following statement:

I knew that it would eventually come down to this one day. Dragonball Evolution marked a very painful creative point in my life. To have something with my name on it as the writer be so globally reviled is gut wrenching. To receive hate mail from all over the world is heartbreaking. I spent so many years trying to deflect the blame, but at the end of the day it all comes down to the written word on page and I take full responsibility for what was such a disappointment to so many fans. I did the best I could, but at the end of the day, I "dropped the dragon ball."

I went into the project chasing after a big payday, not as a fan of the franchise but as a businessman taking on an assignment. I have learned that when you go into a creative endeavor without passion you come out with sub-optimal results, and sometimes flat out garbage. So I’m not blaming anyone for Dragonball but myself. As a fanboy of other series, I know what it’s like to have something you love and anticipate be so disappointing.

To all the Dragon Ball fans out there, I sincerely apologize.

I hope I can make it up to you by creating something really cool and entertaining that you will like and that is also something I am passionate about. That’s the only work I do now.

Best,

Ben.