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The Best Duck Jokes

Updated November 6, 2017 4.9k votes 2.9k voters 58.0k views18 items

List RulesVote up any funny pun or quack about ducks

Funny duck jokes! If you too need a way to break the ice with that cute guy/gal at the your local coffee shoppe, check out this list of the funniest duck jokes ever!

These are the best jokes about ducks and duck puns. Like cheese and quackers. You know, stuff like that.

Vote for your favorite duck joke now!
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  • 1
    487
    408

    Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?

    He was a quackhead. 

  • 2
    235
    194

    What Did Detective Duck Say To His Partner?

    "Let's quack this case!" 

  • 3
    454
    417

    At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?

    At the quack of dawn. 

  • 4
    132
    117

    What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?

    Put it on my bill! 

  • 5
    226
    220

    What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?

    A robber ducky. 

  • 6
    123
    120

    What Do You Call A Clever Duck?

    A wise quacker
  • 7
    128
    128

    What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?

    Quakers and milk. 
  • 8
    104
    105

    Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was A Squirrel?

    It was one tough nut to quack. 

  • 9
    61
    57

    What Do Ducks Watch On TV?

    Duck-umentaries! 

  • 10
    56
    52

    Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?

    Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes! 

  • 11
    90
    96

    What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?

    A duck-filled-fatty-pus 

  • 12
    53
    52

    What Do Ducks Have With Soup?

    Quackers
  • 13
    87
    99

    What Did The Duck Say When He Dropped The Dishes?

    "I hope I didn't quack any!" 

  • 14
    83
    98

    Where Did The Duck Go When He Was Sick?

    To the ducktor!
  • 15
    48
    56

    What Do Ducks Get After They Eat?

    The bill!
  • 16
    49
    62

    Why Are Ducks Bad Drivers?

    Their windshields are qwacked. 
  • 17
    51
    76

    How Do Ducks Talk?

    They don't. You quack.
  • 18
    38
    66

    Did You Hear About The Duck Who Wouldn't Pass Environmental Legislation?

    He was a lame duck.