Culture

The Best Duck Jokes 

Jack Napier
Updated November 6, 2017 4.8k votes 2.8k voters 56.2k views 18 items

List Rules Vote up any funny pun or quack about ducks

Funny duck jokes! If you too need a way to break the ice with that cute guy/gal at the your local coffee shoppe, check out this list of the funniest duck jokes ever!

These are the best jokes about ducks and duck puns. Like cheese and quackers. You know, stuff like that.

Vote for your favorite duck joke now!
list ordered by
1
Did You Hear About The D... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?

He was a quackhead. 

2
At What Time Does A Duck... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?

At the quack of dawn. 

3
What Did Detective Duck ... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
What Did Detective Duck Say To His Partner?

"Let's quack this case!" 

4
What Do You Call A Duck ... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?

A robber ducky. 

5
What Did The Duck Say Wh... is listed (or ranked) 5 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?

Put it on my bill! 

6
What Do You Call A Cleve... is listed (or ranked) 6 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
7
What Do You Call Two Duc... is listed (or ranked) 7 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk. 
8
Did You Hear About The D... is listed (or ranked) 8 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was A Squirrel?

It was one tough nut to quack. 

9
What Do You Call A Cat T... is listed (or ranked) 9 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?

A duck-filled-fatty-pus 

10
What Did The Duck Say Wh... is listed (or ranked) 10 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
What Did The Duck Say When He Dropped The Dishes?

"I hope I didn't quack any!" 

11
Where Did The Duck Go Wh... is listed (or ranked) 11 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
Where Did The Duck Go When He Was Sick?
To the ducktor!
12
Why Was The Teacher Anno... is listed (or ranked) 12 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?

Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes! 

13
What Do Ducks Watch On T... is listed (or ranked) 13 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
What Do Ducks Watch On TV?

Duck-umentaries! 

14
What Do Ducks Have With ... is listed (or ranked) 14 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
What Do Ducks Have With Soup?
Quackers
15
What Do Ducks Get After ... is listed (or ranked) 15 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
What Do Ducks Get After They Eat?
The bill!
16
Why Are Ducks Bad Driver... is listed (or ranked) 16 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
Why Are Ducks Bad Drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked. 
17
How Do Ducks Talk? is listed (or ranked) 17 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't. You quack.
18
Did You Hear About The D... is listed (or ranked) 18 on the list The Best Duck Jokes
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Wouldn't Pass Environmental Legislation?

He was a lame duck.