Funny duck jokes! If you too need a way to break the ice with that cute guy/gal at the your local coffee shoppe, check out this list of the funniest duck jokes ever!
These are the best jokes about ducks and duck puns. Like cheese and quackers. You know, stuff like that.
Vote for your favorite duck joke now!
list ordered by
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up? At the quack of dawn.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals? A robber ducky.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem? He was a quackhead.
What Did Detective Duck Say To His Partner? "Let's quack this case!"
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came? Put it on my bill!
Where Did The Duck Go When He Was Sick? To the ducktor!
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was A Squirrel? It was one tough nut to quack.
What Do You Call A Clever Duck? A wise quacker
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow? Quakers and milk.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck? A duck-filled-fatty-pus
How Do Ducks Talk? They don't. You quack.
Why Are Ducks Bad Drivers? Their windshields are qwacked.
What Did The Duck Say When He Dropped The Dishes? "I hope I didn't quack any!"
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Wouldn't Pass Environmental Legislation? He was a lame duck.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck? Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
What Do Ducks Have With Soup? Quackers
What Do Ducks Watch On TV? Duck-umentaries!
What Do Ducks Get After They Eat? The bill!