criminals The 53 Dumbest Criminals Ever  

Jacob Shelton
17.1k votes 2k voters 541.6k views 53 items

List Rules Vote for the criminals who failed so hard they just failed.

This list of the dumbest criminals will make you feel like a rocket scientist. While it's nice to know that most criminals are too idiotic to follow through with their hair brained schemes, it's kind of depressing to realize how stupid a lot of people really are. The deplorable dumb dumbs on this list sound more like fictional characters than they do hardened criminals. But these crime fails are all totally real. And yes, that includes the guys who tried to rob a grocery store while riding a donkey. These are the worst criminals ever, who were just too stupid to be successful. 

This collection of the dumbest criminals of all time ranges from almost the entire state of Florida, to people who committed crimes in police stations, and a guy who tried to sell weed to a detective. How do you think that ended for him?!

Hopefully after reading about the idiots on this list of dumb criminals you'll have learned some life lessons. For instance, don't try to write yourself a $360 billion check. You can't do that. No one will cash it for you. If you steal an iPad, maybe don't take selfies with everyone in your crew the moment you get back to your house. Selfies can wait for when you have changed the iCloud account to "not the original owner's." And please, stop drinking and driving - even if you're driving with one eye closed to counteract the double vision, it's just not a good idea.

Vote up the dumbest of the dumb criminals on this list of idiotic crimes that completely failed.
1 566 VOTES

Woman Arrested After Asking Police to Test Her Drugs for Ebola


Woman Arrested After Asking Po... is listed (or ranked) 1 on the list The 53 Dumbest Criminals Ever
Photo: Burnet County Jail

Poor Chastity Eugina Hopson was so worried about her possibly-tainted meth that she actually contacted the police about it. Officers at the Granite Shoals Police Department in Texas were trying to catch the county's dumbest drug users when they posted a fake Facebook story about Ebola-tainted meth. The post said, "If you have recently purchased meth or heroin in Central Texas, please take it to the local police or sheriff department so it can be screened with a special device. DO NOT use it until it has been properly checked for possible Ebola contamination!""

Hopson, 29, saw the post and was understandably afraid that her meth could be... wait for it... dangerous. She responded to the department's post on Facebook, and they gladly took her sample in for "testing." Hobson was charged with possession of less than one gram of a controlled substance.
491 75
Agree or disagree?
2 872 VOTES

Robber Gives Cashier His Phone Number


Robber Gives Cashier His Phone... is listed (or ranked) 2 on the list The 53 Dumbest Criminals Ever
Photo: via Pinterest

18 year old Ruben Zarate wanted to rob a muffler shop in Chicago and demanded money. Unfortunately it was mostly in the safe. Zarate decided that he would try again later. To save himself some time, he left his cell phone number with the store employees. That way, they could call him when the manager returned.

Source: News Sentinel
 
688 184
Agree or disagree?
3 285 VOTES

Florida Man Uses Wanted Poster as FB Profile Pic


Florida Man Uses Wanted Poster... is listed (or ranked) 3 on the list The 53 Dumbest Criminals Ever
Photo: Mack Yearwood/Facebook

Police had an easy time tracking down Floridian Mack Yearwood, wanted in connection with an assault that took place over Labor Day weekend 2016, after he used his own wanted poster as his Facebook profile picture. One of Yearwood's friends commented "Nice mug shot," to which Yearwood responded "Thanks buddy!" Another friend expressed more concern: "Holy sh*t ding dong, are you planning on getting this sh*t squared away? I'd like to see you again at least before they find you."

Cops in Stuart, FL, north of Miami, used Yearwood's FB to track him to his brother's house, where he was arrested. According to the arresting officers, a bag of weed tumbled out of Yearwood's pocket as he was cuffed, and he politely asked the cops not to charge him for possession.

Writing on the Stuart Police Department Facebook page, Cpl. Brian Bossio noted "Facebook is a great way to communicate and connect with old friends and family... If you are wanted by the police, it's probably not a good idea to use the 'Wanted of the Week' poster of yourself as your profile pic." 

257 28
Agree or disagree?
4 469 VOTES

Kentucky Woman Arrested for Shoplifting at a "Shop with a Cop" Event


Kentucky Woman Arrested for Sh... is listed (or ranked) 4 on the list The 53 Dumbest Criminals Ever
Photo: via Reddit

A Kentucky woman was arrested after authorities caught her trying to shoplift merchandise while her son took part in a "Shop with a Cop" event. She was charged with theft of less than $500 and not understanding irony. 

Source: Reuters
395 74
Agree or disagree?