TV The Best Dwight Schrute Quotes  

Movie and TV Quotes
1.5k votes 326 voters 93.3k views 20 items Embed

Dwight Schrute quotes chronicle the successful yet sometimes socially awkward life of the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company salesman, manager, assistant to the general manager and assistant general manager Dwight Kurt Schrute III. Portrayed by Rainn Wilson on the NBC series The Office, Dwight Schrute is one of the more popular characters on the comedy series which also has starred the likes of Steve Carrell, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B.J. Novak, and Ed Helms.

Modeled after Gareth Keenan of the original British version of The Office, Dwight Schrute thoroughly enjoys feeling superior to his co-workers and often expresses his feelings of his superiority. Between arguing over his title with Michael or simply expressing his place in the food chain (he's the lion), Dwight has few issues with self-esteem.

Despite this strong will, Dwight is often the victim of pranks and jokes from his office coworkers, especially desk-mate Jim Halpert and general manager Michael Scott. Dwight has little sense of humor but often inadvertently provides humor to his office-mates by being gullible and naive, such as when Jim tried to convince him that Benjamin Franklin was in the office.

Whether he's talking about Schrute Farms, his favorite series Battlestar Galactica, or his own superhuman strength, a benefit of absorbing his own twin while in the womb, Dwight Schrute never fails to provide numerous memorable quotes.
1
115 33

Office Security


Ranker Video
Video: YouTube
Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
2
85 18

Where Does That Leave Us?


Ranker Video
Video: YouTube
Listen. When I saw you talking to Erin earlier, I noticed that your pupils dilated and your skin flushed and I'm assuming, a little bit of blood rushed into your penis... Well, a little bit of blood rushed into mine as well, so where does that leave us?
3
106 29

I'm The Lion


Ranker Video
Video: YouTube
In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion, you're dead.
4
74 11

Weaponry Strategically Placed Around the Office


Ranker Video
Video: YouTube
I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim's life with a can of pepper spray I had Velcroed under my desk. People say, oh it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home, or the workplace. Well I say, it's better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger, on purpose.