14 Golden Facts About Your Delightful Pee
When you're splashing pee on yourself, the last thing on your mind is whether there are health benefit to a piss soak. That is, unless you've heard some prevalent myths about pee, which propagate the notion that urine is an acceptable substitute to medical care in some instances. But is urine sterile? Can human pee help jellyfish stings? Or is this a idiotic nonsense proliferated by urban legends and pseudo science about a base bodily fluid? Drink a big glass of water while you explore these pee facts and contemplate how long it would take for you to feel clean again after a golden shower (unless you use golden showers to get clean).
If you dive deep enough into the world of natural medicine you’ll come to find a group of people with a fervent belief that urine can cure just about anything because it’s from your body. Cancer? Check. Blood disease? No problem. Could it be true something your body makes, and is so readily available, is a cure all for any ailment you can imagine, or is such golden thinking wishful? Obviously, you have to keep reading to find out, but if drinking your own urine cured cancer, you’d probably have heard about it by now, and would finish off a hard day with a nice warm cup of pee (pee always comes after things get really hard, right?).
If you aren’t already grossed out, continue reading to learn some surprising facts about your own pee.
Everyone Pisses In The ShowerPhoto: Columbia Pictures
Are you grossed out by the thought of people peeing in the shower? Do you find such behavior repulsive? Well, you may want to stop reading (please don't). According to Correlated, a site that collects information via polls (seems familiar), a staggering 61% of people pee in the shower.
That number jumps up to 79% if a bidet is available - which doesn't make sense because a bidet isn't in the shower. Is It? It's not right?
Stop Peeing On Yourself When You Have Athlete's FootPhoto: New Line Cinema
If you find yourself with that tingly, nasty condition called athlete's foot, for God's sake don't R. Kelly yourself. Peeing on yourself won't counteract the bacteria causing athlete's foot, despite what you may have heard. It's true the active ingredient in most athlete's foot medication is urea, which is in urine, but it's more concentrated in the medicine than in your kidneys.
There's not enough urea in your urine to get rid of the bacteria, so it's pointless. And also it's gross. Unless you're into that kind of thing.
It Won't Help A Jellyfish Sting At All, SorryPhoto: Warner Bros. Television
Cue the sad trumpet sound for everyone hoping to act out the second greatest scene in Friends (the first is when Chandler spends Thanksgiving in a box). Who knows where the myth urine can ease the pain of a jellyfish sting began (you can look that up, Columbo), but it's certainly not true. The best case scenario if someone pees on your limbs as you writhe in pain is you trick yourself into believing the urine is working. However, depending on what your most trusted friend has been drinking, the urine may cause more pain than pleasure.
Christopher Holstege, a toxicologist and professor of emergency medicine at the University of Virginia, notes that freshwater can set off a secondary stinging effect. If the urine you're using to douse yourself with is more water than urea, you might put yourself through more pain than you have to, all for the sake of reenacting a scene from America's most beloved sitcom.
Also, jellyfish stings don't really hurt that much, all things considered. It's not like you've been shot. Walk it off, you sissy.
Stop Saying Urine Is Sterile (It Isn't)Photo: 20th Century Fox
Hey dummy, your body is disgusting and urine definitely isn't sterile, so stop pouring it on yourself whenever you get a scrape. Your body is teeming with bacteria, which includes everything swimming around in your bladder. Why would it be sterile, you nut?
The theory about urine being sterile came about in the 1950s, when epidemiologist Edward Kass developed the midstream urine test to screen patients for urinary tract infections before surgery. Kass said anyone who had less than 100,000 colony-forming units (cell clusters on a culture dish) per milliliter of urine was negative for bacteria - that's where the thought that urine is sterile comes from.
Some Believe Urine Can Cure Cancer (It Doesn't, Don't Be A F*cking Moron)Photo: Epic Productions
Even if you now urine has a high bacteria count and is nowhere near sterile, there are still folks who want you to use it to treat yourself for every medical issue known to man. Martha Christy, author of Your Own Perfect Medicine, believes urine therapy is the only way to go when it comes to medical treatment. How is rubbing your skinned knees with aged urine any different than taking penicillin (other than the fact that there's solid medical research behind penicillin)?
Her theory is primarily based on a study from 1982, which says, "uric acid destroys body-damaging, cancer-causing free radicals and is considered to be one of the physiological factors that enable human beings to live so much longer than other mammals.” Which is vague at best, and going to be the cause of someone getting very sick at the worst.
Urine Transfusions Aren't The Same As Blood TransfusionsPhoto: Universal Pictures
According to the "scientists" of Indian website The Natural Benefits of Urine Therapy, the most golden of bodily fluids can stop the growth and spread of cancer cells. Urine can also kill poisonous substances in the cancerous cell without producing any side effects; it provides a natural alternative for blood transfusion. Think about that: you can put a bunch of piss in your veins instead of blood. Yikes.
According to Jagdish R. Burani, the man behind these theories (you can buy his book here, if you're interested:
Urine Therapy is the ancient method of treatment which has been continuing from generation to generation. In the ancient method “Urine Therapy” was practiced in the traditional method of treatment which was very difficult for most of the people to adopt and achieve its benefits.I have studied, Investigated and Researched the proper Method and technique to achieve the maximum Benefits from Urine Therapy which can be followed and practiced by every-one including young children suffering from Cerebral Palsy from the very birth.
You should take this site with a grain of urea, because there's no scientific research to back up these weird, piss-soaked theories. It's basically all insane hypothesizing and sounds like a lot of stank-ass bullsh*t. Fell free to visit the clinic next time you're in Bangalore, though.
You can find Jagdish R. Bhurani at Galaxy Plaza, 254 S. C. Road, Bangalore-560009, or reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org or 093428 72578.